1. Post #1
    werewolf and flames are cool guys
    {TFS} Rock Su's Avatar
    December 2011
    6,863 Posts


    The great bee die-off in the US and Europe has been known about for a while. A shortage of honeybees, it’s feared, threatens various crops that depend on them as pollinators. But now some research has put numbers on just how bad the bee deficit is in Europe. And the numbers are alarming, to say the least.

    In the study of 41 countries, published yesterday, researchers found that between 2005 and 2010, demand for so-called “pollinator services” grew nearly five times faster than the supply of bees. In the UK, researchers estimate that there are now only enough beehives to meet a quarter of demand. Through a broad swath of Europe, they can meet only 25% to 50%. Overall, almost half the countries studied had bee deficits. “We face a catastrophe in future years unless we act now,” researcher Simon Potts of the University of Reading in the UK, told The Guardian.
    http://qz.com/165310/something-else-...e-bee-deficit/
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  2. Post #2
    Dennab
    June 2007
    8,436 Posts
    good thing you can order bees by the pound on the web
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  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    UberMensch's Avatar
    May 2006
    1,934 Posts
    That's fine, we'll import them from China like everything else.
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  4. Post #4
    werewolf and flames are cool guys
    {TFS} Rock Su's Avatar
    December 2011
    6,863 Posts
    If the Chinese have to hire people for pollination, you know that it is going the hard way.
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  5. Post #5
    2014 SH Pun Award Nominee
    Dennab
    January 2009
    24,631 Posts
    More people need to cultivate bees as a hobby or side-business. My grandpa used to do it and after that my dad, too, but stopped when there was nobody to watch over the property all time anymore.

    Bees are pretty awesome and you get honey on top of everything.
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  6. Post #6
    werewolf and flames are cool guys
    {TFS} Rock Su's Avatar
    December 2011
    6,863 Posts
    More people need to cultivate bees as a hobby or side-business. My grandpa used to do it and after that my dad, too, but stopped when there was nobody to watch over the property all time anymore.

    Bees are pretty awesome and you get honey on top of everything.
    That you could sell it or make honey biscuits.
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  7. Post #7
    Dennab
    January 2005
    6,486 Posts
    Looks like we're approaching the Medusa Cascade.
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  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Zenreon117's Avatar
    April 2008
    8,446 Posts
    That's fine, we'll import them from China like everything else.
    I say instead of increasing our debt to china, we print some more be... oh
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Laserbeams's Avatar
    February 2010
    11,655 Posts
    We should make robot bees. It's the only logical and economically feasible option
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  10. Post #10
    Dennab
    January 2005
    6,486 Posts
    We should make robot bees. It's the only logical and economically feasible option
    Sounds like the plot of an apocalyptic 80s B-movie
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  11. Post #11
    As a wise man once said: Never ask Fatfatfatty for computer advice
    Dennab
    March 2009
    9,166 Posts
    More people need to cultivate bees as a hobby or side-business. My grandpa used to do it and after that my dad, too, but stopped when there was nobody to watch over the property all time anymore.

    Bees are pretty awesome and you get honey on top of everything.
    And shittons of stings, gotta have a pretty high pain tolerance for being a beekeeper, even with the protective gear they can still sting.
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  12. Post #12
    ah!panic's Avatar
    August 2009
    160 Posts
    we should start a sexual informative program for bees called "fuck the queen". Information as always been the way.
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  13. Post #13
    duckmaster's Avatar
    September 2010
    1,794 Posts
    And shittons of stings, gotta have a pretty high pain tolerance for being a beekeeper, even with the protective gear they can still sting.
    You wont get stung unless you intentionally fuck with them, my friends have a couple hives and they just smoke up em, open it up and do their business, they rarely get stung unless they accidentally smash one.
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  14. Post #14
    2014 SH Pun Award Nominee
    Dennab
    January 2009
    24,631 Posts
    And shittons of stings, gotta have a pretty high pain tolerance for being a beekeeper, even with the protective gear they can still sting.
    My dad did bee-keeping while being actually somewhat allergic to it. Not call-the-ambulance-I-can't-breathe level but every sting still caused pretty huge swelling, and he still did it.

    I got stung by bees quite a few times and thing is that you kinda get used to it. As long as you can get some slack and stop whatever you were doing and ice the spot, it's not all that terrible, and it's apparently healthy for you, supposedly boosting immune system as well as helping against arthritis or whatshit.
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  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    Coffee's Avatar
    August 2010
    10,827 Posts
    My mum keeps bees, which is great because it means free honey.
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  16. Post #16
    frozensoda
    Guest
    Are there any laws or regulations for keeping bees? do they do well in the nroth midwest(illinois)? I am actually very interested in starting some hives.

  17. Post #17
    Gold Member
    Chronische's Avatar
    February 2009
    2,486 Posts
    Are there any laws or regulations for keeping bees? do they do well in the nroth midwest(illinois)? I am actually very interested in starting some hives.

    Probably not much more than there are for just starting a small farm. Need to be more careful with beehives than with a farm, but it falls under farming so it's not super regulated. My uncle used to have a bunch of hives, they aren't all that hard to care for, since they do most of the work themselves.

  18. Post #18
    NYES SSSS SSSS
    Kath's Avatar
    June 2007
    3,467 Posts
    bees are literally so cool they just fly around and bump into things and pollinate plants
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  19. Post #19
    Dennab
    December 2008
    7,739 Posts
    Well, the EU gives money for agricultural projects. So this all depends on the farmers or each country's government.

  20. Post #20
    OvB
    Facepunch resident scientist
    OvB's Avatar
    March 2007
    19,075 Posts
    We should make robot bees. It's the only logical and economically feasible option
    I think I remember hearing someone was working on one.

  21. Post #21
    ah!panic's Avatar
    August 2009
    160 Posts
    I think I remember hearing someone was working on one.
    Here it is

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  22. Post #22
    Dennab
    February 2007
    12,255 Posts
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  23. Post #23
    I bet it's the goddamn Thieves Guild again
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  24. Post #24
    I regularly throw pity parties.
    A B.A. Survivor's Avatar
    August 2010
    14,753 Posts
    There's some people who bought some of the land across the road from my house and set up some bee hives. We only really found out that they had done that once a few metric butt-tons of bees suddenly appeared around my yard, clouding up a fountain and ceaselessly molesting every square inch of plant life.

  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    Chronische's Avatar
    February 2009
    2,486 Posts
    There's some people who bought some of the land across the road from my house and set up some bee hives. We only really found out that they had done that once a few metric butt-tons of bees suddenly appeared around my yard, clouding up a fountain and ceaselessly molesting every square inch of plant life.
    That sounds like swarming activity, which is bad news for whoever owns that hive.
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  26. Post #26
    Gold Member
    RAG Frag's Avatar
    July 2005
    1,639 Posts
    Does that mean stocking up on honey is a wise investment?

  27. Post #27
    SJW 4 lyfe
    DaysBefore's Avatar
    December 2009
    7,598 Posts
    Does that mean stocking up on honey is a wise investment?
    It's liquid gold
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  28. Post #28
    Lethaxx's Avatar
    April 2011
    652 Posts
    Bees are pretty awesome and you get honey on top of everything.
    Sounds messy.
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  29. Post #29
    O Cheerios O's Avatar
    April 2007
    928 Posts
    Sounds messy.
    Or kinky, depending on what gives you a buzz.
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  30. Post #30
    myon's Avatar
    February 2011
    13,124 Posts
    I'm allergic to bees :(
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  31. Post #31
    Gold Member
    Occlusion's Avatar
    March 2008
    6,913 Posts
    Why don't governments just open vast bee hives? It seems like something they should be doing something about. I can't imagine it'd be the biggest expense in the budget.

    Would love a hive when i have enough land.

  32. Post #32
    2014 SH Pun Award Nominee
    Dennab
    January 2009
    24,631 Posts
    Why don't governments just open vast bee hives? It seems like something they should be doing something about. I can't imagine it'd be the biggest expense in the budget.

    Would love a hive when i have enough land.
    Problem is that bees aren't dying out because people don't care, they keep caring and bees die. Also, usually, if it's due to plague, you usually have to wipe out your entire population of multiple hives to avoid spreading it to other bee-keepers, I think that at least here it's a legal obligation to report plague and kill your entire current stock. Chances are that if we open more bee-hives, the only effect will be faster spread of the problems and more hives dying, mainly if you centralize them into several big hives.
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  33. Post #33
    pink titles r for gaylordes
    WarRage333's Avatar
    March 2008
    4,033 Posts
    Usually my bees die off at this time and theres like 50% less of them.

    For some reason theres 50% MORE this year.

    So yeah next year we will be swimmin' in honey.
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  34. Post #34
    Gold Member
    Cows Rule's Avatar
    October 2008
    5,919 Posts
    I might hate the little bastards(along with every other insect ever(specifically any insect that flies and can sting)) there incredibly important and without them famine's gonna be big.

  35. Post #35
    To bee or not to bee, that is the question.
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  36. Post #36
    Maxime Lebled
    maxumym's Avatar
    December 2010
    11,412 Posts
    What a great time to live in one of the regions where a particular sort of beekeeping is still practicised (I couldn't even find an english word for it, Wiki told me it's Zeidlerei for Germans), where the bees are kept in tree hollows and not in hives, which, having them live in a more natural environment gives the honey quite a unique taste.
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  37. Post #37
    Dennab
    July 2013
    1,614 Posts
    good thing you can order bees by the pound on the web


    actually i think those websites are just a front for ordering nuclear weapons
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  38. Post #38
    What if we as a nation came to realize that the quest 4 empire eventually destroys all great nations
    sloppy_joes's Avatar
    November 2006
    16,213 Posts
    We should make robot bees. It's the only logical and economically feasible option
    this sounds like a stereotypical stoner thought.

    "dudddeee.... robot bees"
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  39. Post #39
    Fouytan222's Avatar
    November 2010
    446 Posts
    this sounds like a stereotypical stoner thought.

    "dudddeee.... robot bees"
    Except in the face of Bee extinction some dudes are straight up making robot bees. It's not that bad of an idea, actually, considering that there probably won't be any large pushes to preserve bee populations in the near future.
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  40. Post #40
    Gold Member
    Kaios's Avatar
    April 2005
    528 Posts
    I camped in North Carolina for a few months and I started to take a liking to bees (previously being freaked out by any bugs). My friend told they were nature's janitors and I got curious. Then after eating some peanut butter tortillas I had PB hands and a couple bees flew on my hands and just started to feed off of it. I left my hand still and stared at them, they just kinda went around my fingers eating the PB all chill-like (it tickled a little) and flew away after. I find them quite beautiful actually.
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