1. Post #1
    Gold Member
    Trumple's Avatar
    September 2009
    6,209 Posts
    Posted in Law, 1st April 2012 05:00 GMT
    Apple has launched a new patent assault on its competitors, one that appears to unleash the nukes that Steve Jobs reportedly told his biographer Walter Isaacson he was going to drop on Google's Android.

    "I'm going to destroy Android, because it's a stolen product," the late Apple cofounder told the author of the überpopular authorized biography Steve Jobs in a 2010 interview. "I'm willing to go thermonuclear war on this."


    Apple's legal team has now filed a patent-infringement lawsuit that hurls a potentially Edward Teller–level legal challenge at its smartphone and tablet competitors. Or, at minimum, one that opens up a massively profitable licensing opportunity for Cupertino.

    Apple's SVP and general counsel Bruce Sewell, when announcing the sweeping lawsuit in a rare Saturday call with reporters and analysts, cited not his late boss, Steve Jobs, but his current one, Tim Cook. "As Tim said in 2009," Sewell reminded us, "'We like competition as long as they don't rip off our IP. And if they do, we will go after anyone who does. We are ready to suit up and go against anyone'."

    The patent being asserted by Sewell and his crew is USPTO Patent #1,042,012, first granted to the American Mathematical Society in October 1912, subsequently renewed, then acquired by Apple at an unknown date.

    The first entry among the patent's Claims describes "A quadrilateral having all four interior angles of 90°, opposite sides that are parallel, and congruent diagonals that bisect each other."

    Yes, Apple is asserting a patent on the rectangle.

    When The Reg pressed Sewell on the validity of patent #1,042,012 and the arguable existence of prior art, he defended Apple's legal strategy.

    "When we sued Samsung in April of last year," he told us, "one of our assertions was that that company had modified its original design to include 'square icons with rounded corners' that were copied directly from our iOS icons. How much of a legal leap is it from the assertion of owning squares with rounded corners to asserting that we own the rectangle?"

    Sewell also reminded us of Apple's slide-to-unlock patent-infringment lawsuits, which Motorola lost in Munich and Samsung won in Mannheim, but which still remain up in the air – although there are signs that a peace treaty may be in the offing.

    "A 'person familiar with the art'," Sewell told us, using a familiar bit of patentese, "might argue that the concept of sliding something to unlock something has been around since the deadbolts of the Middle Ages. But it seems the Weißbier-sodden Bavarians were more interested in hefting their hearty hulks to the Hofbräuhaus than in debating 'prior art'."

    When we pointed out to Apple's general counsel that his company hadn't exactly played fair in a patent-infringment case against Samsung, having changed the shape of an image of the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 in a court presentation to make it more resemble an iPad, he dismissed our objection.

    "It's still a rectangle," he sniffed. "And we own the rectangle." ®
    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/04/01/apple_patent/
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 27Winner Winner x 2Late Late x 1 (list)

  2. Post #2
    Glorious GNU/Linux Master Race
    kaukassus's Avatar
    May 2010
    5,191 Posts
    how about no?

    trying too hard
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 8 Switzerland Show Events Informative Informative x 2Agree Agree x 1Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    Electrocuter's Avatar
    December 2005
    5,963 Posts
    Too obvious.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Disagree Disagree x 6Agree Agree x 3Optimistic Optimistic x 1 (list)

  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    SweetSwifter's Avatar
    April 2007
    4,540 Posts
    -snap-
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Netherlands Show Events Useful Useful x 1 (list)

  5. Post #5
    DERAILER OF THREADS DESTROYER OF IDIOTS
    Emperor Scorpious II's Avatar
    February 2009
    24,898 Posts
    Too obvious.
    I was skeptical, but a part of me thought it plausible...
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista United States Show Events Agree Agree x 14 (list)

  6. Post #6
    Gold Member
    Andokool12's Avatar
    November 2008
    12,524 Posts
    Oh wait it's April 1st.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Canada Show Events Disagree Disagree x 3 (list)

  7. Post #7
    Glorious GNU/Linux Master Race
    kaukassus's Avatar
    May 2010
    5,191 Posts
    I was skeptical, but a part of me thought it plausible...
    "I'm going to destroy Android, because it's a stolen product,"

    "I'm willing to go thermonuclear war on this."

    "It's still a rectangle," he sniffed. "And we own the rectangle." ®



    sounds very plausible to me.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 8 Switzerland Show Events

  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Kendra's Avatar
    November 2008
    7,209 Posts
    Not even a blind man would fall for this.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista Spain Show Events Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Electrocuter's Avatar
    December 2005
    5,963 Posts
    I was skeptical, but a part of me thought it plausible...
    Yeah I could see this happening, if it wasn't for what day it is today I would have believed too.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Agree Agree x 7 (list)

  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    LilRobot's Avatar
    January 2009
    1,803 Posts
    either one, it's a huge april fools joke

    or two, anything with a rectangular shape is now illegal.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events

  11. Post #11
    Gold Member

    September 2006
    8,277 Posts
    Quick lets patent every other shape before they get to them!
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista United States Show Events

  12. Post #12
    Dennab
    December 2011
    5,623 Posts
    ...April Fools.

    Right?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP Europe Show Events

  13. Post #13
    Glorious GNU/Linux Master Race
    kaukassus's Avatar
    May 2010
    5,191 Posts
    If that would happen, microsoft would shit themself with their metro design.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 8 Switzerland Show Events

  14. Post #14

    July 2010
    673 Posts
    "I'm going to destroy Android, because it's a stolen product,"
    Of course it's stolen, that's why you've copied them for so long.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista United States Show Events Dumb Dumb x 2 (list)

  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    CommanderPT's Avatar
    July 2006
    8,108 Posts
    You know Apple sues too much when you read through the article thinking that it is just another day over at Apple's legal department.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Sweden Show Events Funny Funny x 9Agree Agree x 2 (list)

  16. Post #16
    Starpluck? More like StarFUCK!!
    Starpluck's Avatar
    September 2008
    11,305 Posts
    "I'm going to destroy Android, because it's a stolen product,"

    "I'm willing to go thermonuclear war on this."

    "It's still a rectangle," he sniffed. "And we own the rectangle." ®



    sounds very plausible to me.
    He did actually say the first two lines.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Bahrain Show Events Agree Agree x 13Informative Informative x 2 (list)