1. Post #1
    Hidole555's Avatar
    July 2009
    4,673 Posts
    Washington (CNN) -- Former President George W. Bush was happy that heart transplant surgery for his vice president, Dick Cheney, went well, according to a statement Sunday from Bush's spokesman.

    "President Bush was in touch with the family yesterday," said the statement from Freddy Ford, Bush's communications director. "He and Mrs. Bush were very happy to hear that the surgery went well. They are keeping Vice President Cheney in their prayers for a full and speedy recovery.

    Cheney, 71, had surgery Saturday at Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Virginia.

    He had been on the cardiac transplant list for more than 20 months, a statement from his office said.

    "Although the former vice president and his family do not know the identity of the donor, they will be forever grateful for this lifesaving gift," it said.

    Cheney has a history of heart trouble, suffering at least five heart attacks since 1978. His first occurred when he was 37.

    In June 2010, he was hospitalized at George Washington University for conditions related to his coronary artery disease. He had a left ventricular assist device (LVAD) implanted to help his heart pump.

    In June 2001, Cheney was implanted with a pacemaker after he experienced irregular heart rhythms.

    The former Wyoming congressman served as an influential vice president with President George W. Bush from 2001 to 2009.

    In January, Showtime announced that it was producing a documentary about Cheney, tentatively titled "The World According to Dick Cheney."
    The network said filmmaker R.J. Cutler "will offer up a measured, layered profile of the polarizing, controversial former vice president."

    As vice president, Cheney worked diligently, mostly behind the scenes, to forge the Bush administration's identity and broad policy positions. He was considered the administration's point man on three major issues: energy, global warming and domestic terrorism.

    Cheney also served in the Nixon White House and was chief of staff to President Gerald Ford.

    Source.
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  2. Post #2
    Gold Member
    Thlis's Avatar
    January 2007
    2,451 Posts
    I thought he had it replaced with a machine.
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  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    Lazor's Avatar
    July 2007
    9,253 Posts
    this was an astonishingly easy transplant seeing as there was no heart to remove
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  4. Post #4
    You're Gonna Carry That Weight.
    jaykray's Avatar
    June 2008
    7,184 Posts
    I imagine his heart to be like Mr Burns' is usually depicted in the simpsons.
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  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    darkrei9n's Avatar
    November 2007
    5,365 Posts
    Wait, so Cheney has a heart now?
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  6. Post #6
    Gold Member
    Lachz0r's Avatar
    August 2008
    12,352 Posts
    they probably just used a sharks heart or something
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  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Biotoxsin's Avatar
    June 2008
    7,121 Posts
    I thought he had it replaced with a machine.
    He had a right ventricular implant iirc, but I can't imagine that being a permanant solution in any case

  8. Post #8
    You're Gonna Carry That Weight.
    jaykray's Avatar
    June 2008
    7,184 Posts
    He had a right ventricular implant iirc, but I can't imagine that being a permanant solution in any case
    In June 2010, he was hospitalized at George Washington University for conditions related to his coronary artery disease. He had a left ventricular assist device (LVAD) implanted to help his heart pump.
    It's in the OP.

  9. Post #9
    Gold Apple
    notlabbet's Avatar
    December 2011
    5,126 Posts
    you cant kill satan

  10. Post #10
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,350 Posts
    this was an astonishingly easy transplant seeing as there was no heart to remove
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  11. Post #11
    My dick's so long, if I laid it on my keyboard, it'd reach from A to Z.
    NuclearJesus's Avatar
    March 2012
    2,161 Posts
    I wonder how many Make-A-Wish kids Dick had to shoot in the face to bump up his position in line.

    Edit: ^^^I can't read that comic. The text blends in to the pictures in some panels.^^^
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  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    ewitwins's Avatar
    December 2009
    14,220 Posts
    edit: Too cynical to post.
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  13. Post #13
    DERAILER OF THREADS DESTROYER OF IDIOTS
    Emperor Scorpious II's Avatar
    February 2009
    25,715 Posts
    I thought he had it replaced with a machine.
    I thought it already was a machine

  14. Post #14
    Some guy on reddit was bitching about this because he was also on life support and expecting a heart in the same city Cheney was in or something, and Cheney got the heart even though he was farther down the list than him.
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  15. Post #15
    I can't think of a good title.
    Reds's Avatar
    May 2010
    17,125 Posts
    Some guy on reddit was bitching about this because he was also on life support and expecting a heart in the same city Cheney was in or something, and Cheney got the heart even though he was farther down the list than him.
    Ok, I would not be a happy guy if I needed a heart, and Dick fucking Cheney ignored the line to get one instead of me.
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  16. Post #16
    I once worked at a sperm bank, the food was terrible
    The Baconator's Avatar
    April 2011
    9,214 Posts
    So the doctor's opened a black whole on earth? Not a good a idea.
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  17. Post #17
    You're Gonna Carry That Weight.
    jaykray's Avatar
    June 2008
    7,184 Posts
    A black whole.
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  18. Post #18
    Gold Member
    gamefreek76's Avatar
    October 2005
    7,237 Posts
    So he finally has a heart?

  19. Post #19
    Bel Irkalli's Avatar
    January 2012
    167 Posts
    Richard Cheney? Wait, we can't say "dick?"

  20. Post #20
    You're Gonna Carry That Weight.
    jaykray's Avatar
    June 2008
    7,184 Posts
    Richard Cheney? Wait, we can't say "dick?"
    Have a heart.
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  21. Post #21
    I can't think of a good title.
    Reds's Avatar
    May 2010
    17,125 Posts
    Have a heart.
    Too late, Cheney took the last one.

    Edited:

    To tear out and consume later, he doesn't really need it, but he wanted to keep it fresh.
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  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    ewitwins's Avatar
    December 2009
    14,220 Posts
    Okay fuck it, I'll stop resisting to post my rage-induced feelings.

    This man is such a corrupt and evil fuck, and if you ask I'll list them down the block, that I could give a shit. And I'm not gonna do this namby-pamby "heart" shit for him because I could give a fuck whether he lives or dies. He's ruined so many people's lives, whether it be through Halliburton or as the Vice President that I was betting on whether he'd make the 53% chance he'd survive over the next 5 years. You can say I'm a terrible person, or I'm on "his level", but I could care less.
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  23. Post #23
    Okay fuck it, I'll stop resisting to post my rage-induced feelings.

    This man is such a corrupt and evil fuck, and if you ask I'll list them down the block, that I could give a shit. And I'm not gonna do this namby-pamby "heart" shit for him because I could give a fuck whether he lives or dies. He's ruined so many people's lives, whether it be through Halliburton or as the Vice President that I was betting on whether he'd make the 53% chance he'd survive over the next 5 years. You can say I'm a terrible person, or I'm on "his level", but I could care less.
    Pretty much in total agreeance with this.

    The miserable old fucker just won't die, despite everything he's done in his lifetime. Over the course of more than 30 years, he has survived FIVE HEART ATTACKS (that has got to be some sort of record), a four-vessel coronary bypass, and a bunch of popliteal arterial aneurisms. There's been a bunch of other cardiac problems he's had to undergo surgeries for, as well- most of which were due to the fact he used to smoke like a chimney.

    He has to be some sort of warlock or something, because he's made it to 71... and it doesn't look like he's going to be departing from us anytime soon. It's nothing short of a goddamn miracle honestly.

    Maybe if we kill him and consume his flesh, we'll absorb his powers that make him so resistant to death and disease. It's worth a shot.
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  24. Post #24
    Gold Member

    June 2005
    1,071 Posts
    sad he didnt die
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  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    Sunday_Roast's Avatar
    November 2007
    3,444 Posts
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  26. Post #26
    Gold Member
    Ericson666's Avatar
    May 2011
    3,480 Posts
    Pretty much in total agreeance with this.

    The miserable old fucker just won't die, despite everything he's done in his lifetime. Over the course of more than 30 years, he has survived FIVE HEART ATTACKS (that has got to be some sort of record), a four-vessel coronary bypass, and a bunch of popliteal arterial aneurisms. There's been a bunch of other cardiac problems he's had to undergo surgeries for, as well- most of which were due to the fact he used to smoke like a chimney.

    He has to be some sort of warlock or something, because he's made it to 71... and it doesn't look like he's going to be departing from us anytime soon. It's nothing short of a goddamn miracle honestly.

    Maybe if we kill him and consume his flesh, we'll absorb his powers that make him so resistant to death and disease. It's worth a shot.
    But then we'd pay the price for long life...


    We'd be CHENEY
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  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Chonch's Avatar
    July 2009
    7,212 Posts
    I have the feeling that whatever problems that caused him to need this were of his own accord.

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  28. Post #28
    I once worked at a sperm bank, the food was terrible
    The Baconator's Avatar
    April 2011
    9,214 Posts
    A black whole.
    it was midnight when I posted that

  29. Post #29
    ExplodingGuy's Avatar
    December 2009
    7,516 Posts
    Wait, we're giving machines biological components now?
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  30. Post #30
    If the mods approve of this title they hereby admit that they are all massive faggots
    koeniginator's Avatar
    October 2009
    9,674 Posts
    Richard Cheney? Wait, we can't say "dick?"
    Dick Recovering From Transplant, More at 11
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  31. Post #31
    How is this guy still alive?

  32. Post #32
    DERAILER OF THREADS DESTROYER OF IDIOTS
    Emperor Scorpious II's Avatar
    February 2009
    25,715 Posts
    How is this guy still alive?
    Black magic and necromancy.
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  33. Post #33
    Bleach Qeef's Avatar
    June 2007
    1,712 Posts
    How many people must we sacrifice to appease him?
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  34. Post #34
    I SHOULDN'T OWN A FIREARM
    GunFox's Avatar
    May 2005
    7,543 Posts
    Shot a lawyer in the face and stole his.
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  35. Post #35
    USER HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED FROM REALITY - RETRY CONNECTION IN 5 MINUTES
    Dennab
    February 2006
    22,239 Posts
    Shot a lawyer in the face and stole his.
    I doubt it. That would be beneficial to society.

  36. Post #36
    jaredpunk's Avatar
    March 2012
    19 Posts

    soon