Facepunch Forums Automated Messaging System posted:
22 years one unfortunate woman shit out a blue and brain damaged fetus that would grow up to be me.
Spent almost two years away from home now trying to live on my own and boy, has it paid off this year.
After waking up at 10AM I tried to ignore the mention that it was a Sunday and that would of normally meant work in four hours. Unfortunately I was fired over a month ago and still have not netted a new job as a gas jockey or photocopier, or parking lot sweeper...or anything really.
I wanted to celebrate today. This day only happens once a year. It's a special day. Unfortunately with no EI and bankrupcy only less than two weeks away, all leisure driving, entertaining or eating was eliminated. If I was to do anything fun today it would have to either be profitable or on foot. I was able to spend the afternoon watching a booth at the flea market which was owned by my former boss. It paid me $50 which entitled me to a half a tank of gas and the March hydro bill to be paid on time. He boasted how that weekend alone he had bought over $800 in goods ranging from games to laptops. He has a nice booth.
Birthday celebrations for me are always particularly nice, in my dreams. This year I had nobody to celebrate with. No presents. No cake (it actually was a lie). The dinner consisted of fried spam with honey mustard and a bag of chips.
Here I am as seen by my roommate. I was absolutely ecstatic.
I never got a call from another possible employer either. I never got any messages from anyone in fact saying happy 22nd. Not even my parents.
I missed something. Either I died and went to hell or I have somehow gotten involved in some sick reality tv show where they make the life of one person absolutely miserable and only drop the curtain after the victim is about to throw himself off the viaduct like I am, then give them back the life they had long wished for.
Like average wage, a roof that didn't leak, and the knowing that a friday night meant a night at the Rumpus Room with the guys.
Edit: Oh look at me go. I'm blogpunching and being all drama. I'll just walk away from the site for the night and hope people still remember me as the crazy digifag I am.
(User was banned for this post ("Hey MIPS, Get a blog - happy bday" - Craptasket))