1. Post #1
    RISC MASTER RACE.
    MIPS's Avatar
    August 2010
    7,077 Posts
    Facepunch Forums Automated Messaging System posted:
    Happy birthday, MIPS! Have a good one :)
    Yes.
    22 years one unfortunate woman shit out a blue and brain damaged fetus that would grow up to be me.
    Spent almost two years away from home now trying to live on my own and boy, has it paid off this year.
    After waking up at 10AM I tried to ignore the mention that it was a Sunday and that would of normally meant work in four hours. Unfortunately I was fired over a month ago and still have not netted a new job as a gas jockey or photocopier, or parking lot sweeper...or anything really.
    I wanted to celebrate today. This day only happens once a year. It's a special day. Unfortunately with no EI and bankrupcy only less than two weeks away, all leisure driving, entertaining or eating was eliminated. If I was to do anything fun today it would have to either be profitable or on foot. I was able to spend the afternoon watching a booth at the flea market which was owned by my former boss. It paid me $50 which entitled me to a half a tank of gas and the March hydro bill to be paid on time. He boasted how that weekend alone he had bought over $800 in goods ranging from games to laptops. He has a nice booth.
    Birthday celebrations for me are always particularly nice, in my dreams. This year I had nobody to celebrate with. No presents. No cake (it actually was a lie). The dinner consisted of fried spam with honey mustard and a bag of chips.
    Here I am as seen by my roommate. I was absolutely ecstatic.



    I never got a call from another possible employer either. I never got any messages from anyone in fact saying happy 22nd. Not even my parents.
    I missed something. Either I died and went to hell or I have somehow gotten involved in some sick reality tv show where they make the life of one person absolutely miserable and only drop the curtain after the victim is about to throw himself off the viaduct like I am, then give them back the life they had long wished for.

    Like average wage, a roof that didn't leak, and the knowing that a friday night meant a night at the Rumpus Room with the guys.

    Edit: Oh look at me go. I'm blogpunching and being all drama. I'll just walk away from the site for the night and hope people still remember me as the crazy digifag I am.

    (User was banned for this post ("Hey MIPS, Get a blog - happy bday" - Craptasket))
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  2. Post #2
    Gold Member
    DanTehMan's Avatar
    May 2008
    2,499 Posts
    I don't really understand what kind of reply you're looking for. Are you looking for pity? Or are you looking for some life help and suggestions?
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  3. Post #3
    I like the zip of Miracle Whip
    cheetahben's Avatar
    January 2010
    3,989 Posts
    Not sure if this is meant to be sarcastic or not.
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  4. Post #4
    Creator of the Gold Member Times
    AnalAnnihilator's Avatar
    November 2011
    1,619 Posts
    Sorry are we supposed to care? This just seems like attention whoring to me. I'm pretty sure "it's my birthday" is on the list of bad thread ideas as well. We don't need you to announce that it's your birthday. It's nothing special.
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  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    MR-X's Avatar
    January 2005
    6,928 Posts
    Maybe if you got a hair cut and became less of a killjoy you would get a better job.

    Just saying, no one likes a downer.

    Oh and happy birthday.
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  6. Post #6
    Gold Member
    john_pelphre's Avatar
    November 2008
    2,615 Posts
    Dude, everyone has fucking problems. I don't come to Facepunch to hear how sad you are, because frankly, I don't care. You have problems. Yeah.
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  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Killer900's Avatar
    April 2005
    6,370 Posts
    Happy birthday.
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  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    slbobo's Avatar
    August 2005
    661 Posts
    Smile a bit more, than maybe you won't feel so depressed :)
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    August 2009
    866 Posts
    Terrible thread.
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  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    Lord of Ears's Avatar
    January 2007
    8,082 Posts
    oh you poor baby
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  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    megafat's Avatar
    January 2005
    5,789 Posts
    You do know in the time you posted that your chance of getting laid was lost forever, right?
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  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    Lord of Ears's Avatar
    January 2007
    8,082 Posts
    judging by that picture, his chances of getting laid were lost a long time ago
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  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    lockdown6's Avatar
    August 2008
    5,639 Posts
    omg i feel so bad for you
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  14. Post #14
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    January 2005
    4,680 Posts
    happy birthday. get a haircut hippie
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  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    Archonos 2's Avatar
    June 2005
    1,562 Posts
    Cheer up a bit and find a job. It's certainly possible.
    Seems like your whole life needs some work.

    Happy birthday, the next one will be better if you put effort into your life.
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  16. Post #16
    kill yourself
    Protocol7's Avatar
    June 2006
    25,218 Posts
    well if you sit and bitch about how much your life sucks, it's not going to get any better...
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  17. Post #17
    Muracle's Avatar
    February 2012
    332 Posts
    You guys are a bit mean!

    Happy birthday dude :)
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  18. Post #18
    Ah... tits!
    sam6420's Avatar
    August 2009
    4,072 Posts
    Expected a good thread.. I am disappointed.

    Life sucks? Fucking do something about it.
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  19. Post #19
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,352 Posts
    just listen to the smiths and it'll all work itself out:
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  20. Post #20
    funion is gay
    Zukriuchen's Avatar
    September 2009
    14,731 Posts
    Life sucks? Fucking do something about it.
    he should start by cutting that awful hair

    Edited:

    ew it looks dirty
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  21. Post #21
    bulletshield's Avatar
    September 2008
    929 Posts
    a shameful display
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  22. Post #22
    Ah... tits!
    sam6420's Avatar
    August 2009
    4,072 Posts
    he should start by cutting that awful hair

    Edited:

    ew it looks dirty
    Bit too mean.
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  23. Post #23
    Mega Raffler
    RudeMcRude's Avatar
    September 2010
    2,951 Posts
    Could be worse
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  24. Post #24

    September 2010
    177 Posts
    I feel for your roommate.
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  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    monkey11's Avatar
    February 2008
    2,416 Posts
    And I thought I was ugly...
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  26. Post #26
    hey OP take off your shirt

    Edited:

    woops, I mistook you for a woman
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  27. Post #27
    Jacinth's Avatar
    January 2010
    1,124 Posts
    I had a birthday once too.
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  28. Post #28
    Gold Member
    Adius Shadow's Avatar
    February 2007
    3,595 Posts
    Cut your hair, you are balding
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  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    ZenX2's Avatar
    February 2009
    4,631 Posts
    You do actually look better with short hair. I think somebody would be more likely to hire you if you cut it.

    Anyways, happy birthday! Make the best of it that you can.
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  30. Post #30
    Gold Member
    Adius Shadow's Avatar
    February 2007
    3,595 Posts
    Just realized I am 22 also.
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  31. Post #31
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,352 Posts
    hey OP take off your shirt

    Edited:

    woops, I mistook you for a woman
    woops, I mistook you for a good poster.
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