1. Post #1
    Col. Mandrake's Avatar
    April 2009
    892 Posts
    A Washington, D.C., charter school teacher has been fired after it was discovered the teacher had assigned third-grade students a number of math problems framed around violent and illegal scenarios.
    At first, the unnamed teacher at the Trinidad Center City School claimed he had been ordered to assign the problems, but it was quickly discovered that the teacher had actually downloaded them from a free homeschooling website called "HomeschoolingParadise.com."
    "I was absolutely distressed," Dr. Beverley Wheeler, the CEO of Center City PCS, which oversees Trinidad, told WUSA9. "It doesn't follow anything we do. We are about character, excellence and service and I found them to be violent and racist."
    Even more baffling, other parents at the school say the teacher in question is a minister.
    [Parents outraged after homework references slavery, beatings]
    I went to the Homeschooling Paradise website and took a look at the third-grade homeschooling "Worksheets" curriculum. To start, the site's own promotional slogan uses oddly harsh (and racially problematic) language, asking:
    "Want your kids to sharpen their mathematical skills to a razor's edge? There is nothing better than grinding their neurons on Singapore math." You can read more about the Singapore math system here.
    Here are some of the suggested math problems from the site. And to be clear, I'm not cherry-picking; almost any question picked at random will reflect the concerns expressed by Dr. Wheeler:
    "I was sleeping one night when a hungry vampire sucked 3652 liters of blood from me and 1865 liters of blood from my little brother. How much blood did the hungry vampire drink that night?"
    Another reads:
    "I took a nap in a bog one day and woke up screaming. 3796 leeches, 2910 fleas and 1044 vampire bats were stuck to my bald head drinking my blood in ecstasy. How many bloodthirsty bloodsuckers were dining on my head?"
    And check out this incredibly morbid problem:
    "John's father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John's friends came for his funeral the next day. John's grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John's friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?"
    Last I checked, most kids are warned against indulging in tobacco products. Nonetheless, Homeschooling Paradise offers this equation for children to ponder:
    "John, Jack and Jim lit up their pipes after dinner and began blowing smoke rings. By the time they were finished, they had blown a total of 6437 smoke rings. If John blew 52 smoke rings and Jack blew 3896 smoke rings, how many smoke rings did Jim blow?"
    Source http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow...201910368.html

    and the math problems mentioned in the article http://www.homeschooling-paradise.co...d-grade-5.html

    The whole site is riddled with disturbing pictures, well disturbing for third graders at least
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  2. Post #2
    PM ME FOR /TWO\ RUST KEYS!!
    MisterSjeiks's Avatar
    April 2011
    5,862 Posts
    He gave them the worksheet for Ghetto High, the most gangster high school in the world
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  3. Post #3
    1337KiLLeR's Avatar
    February 2009
    400 Posts
    Man, I wish my math exams were like that
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  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    fishyfish777's Avatar
    November 2007
    6,257 Posts

    Tilda Tiger had many hungry children to feed on Thanksgiving Day. She caught 169 Africans, 526 Americans and 196 Indians. She then put the people equally into 9 enormous ovens to bake. How many desperate people were in each oven?

    ahahah oh god
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  5. Post #5
    One of these days, I'm going to cut you into little pieces.
    AJisAwesome15's Avatar
    May 2011
    5,929 Posts
    Oh my god those are great
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  6. Post #6
    YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME
    The Genie's Avatar
    August 2006
    10,018 Posts
    Johnny has 30 bullets, he enters his school and begins to violently massacre the other students, if it takes 3 bullets to kill 1 student, how many students can he kill?
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  7. Post #7
    KingOfScience's Avatar
    February 2010
    2,815 Posts
    sounds like some sort of weird cult decided to make a math website
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  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Santz's Avatar
    June 2009
    6,866 Posts
    Hahah hes fucked up. If it was something above the 6th grade It would probably be funny to them but to third graders its a bit too much.
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  9. Post #9
    Squadron Leader of the United FP Alliance
    WaffleCopter's Avatar
    November 2010
    3,003 Posts
    I wish I had these problems over the boring ones at school.
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  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    Drasnus's Avatar
    October 2007
    3,707 Posts
    Sounds like John really sucks at blowing smoke rings.
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  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    EmperorVagak's Avatar
    February 2008
    3,504 Posts
    I probably wouldn't be educated from these problems because I'd be laughing too much at some of them.
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  12. Post #12
    KingOfScience's Avatar
    February 2010
    2,815 Posts
    My 3 friends and I were caught and tied up by 1023 screaming cannibals in a jungle last night. Soon we were feeling terribly itchy because of the mosquitoes. We begged the cannibals to scratch us. 219 cannibals refused because they were busy cutting vegetables. The rest of them, however, surrounded us in equal numbers and began to scratch us with their teeth, just like dogs. It felt good! How many cannibals scratched me?

    ahahahahaha what the actual fuck
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  13. Post #13
    Really, really, really, really likes parrots and water caustics. Also, hates titles.
    Aurora93's Avatar
    March 2009
    11,686 Posts
    When I was sleeping in a forest last night, 2555 fire ants crawled up my nose and built a nest in my brain. I woke up screaming the next morning. My distraught mother rushed me to hospital for an emergency operation. The doctor was able to kill 1953 fire ants. The remaining ants in my brain formed themselves into 7 equal-sized groups and fled to 7 different organs in my body, one being my stomach.
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  14. Post #14
    Gold Member
    HolyCrapAWalrus's Avatar
    November 2010
    4,469 Posts
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  15. Post #15
    ffFf
    Uber|nooB's Avatar
    June 2005
    5,914 Posts
    these are brilliant, why would you fire anyone for using them?
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  16. Post #16
    Last or First's Avatar
    December 2009
    4,612 Posts
    Hmm. I wonder if he has a violence and abduction fetish!
    Nah, that can't be it!

    Seriously what the fuck is up with this guy and murder, abduction, and the undead?

    He has some other worksheets too, and they also have a bunch of fucked up questions.

    Homeschool: Free Printable Math Worksheets
    Singapore Math Problem 5
    Kung Fu Lung Lee and his wife were sleeping one night when 5241 ninjas sneaked into their house. Kung Fu Lung Lee woke up immediately and slaughtered 1153 screaming ninjas. His wife viciously stabbed 2806 shrieking ninjas with her sharp chopsticks. The rest of the ninjas fled in terror. How many ninjas turned tail?


    hahahaha what the shit
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  17. Post #17

    July 2011
    2,327 Posts
    these are brilliant, why would you fire anyone for using them?
    because "OMG racist!1!"
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  18. Post #18
    Gold Member
    Miskav's Avatar
    April 2010
    4,146 Posts
    Hmm. I wonder if he has a violence and abduction fetish!
    Nah, that can't be it!

    Seriously what the fuck is up with this guy and murder, abduction, and the undead?

    He has some other worksheets too, and they also have a bunch of fucked up questions.

    Homeschool: Free Printable Math Worksheets
    Singapore Math Problem 5
    Kung Fu Lung Lee and his wife were sleeping one night when 5241 ninjas sneaked into their house. Kung Fu Lung Lee woke up immediately and slaughtered 1153 screaming ninjas. His wife viciously stabbed 2806 shrieking ninjas with her sharp chopsticks. The rest of the ninjas fled in terror. How many ninjas turned tail?


    hahahaha what the shit
    That dude got outdone by his wife by a whopping 1500+ kills.
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  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    Susan Shark had 15 pieces of $50 notes in her handbag and had to cook dinner for her hungry children. She went to the supermarket and bought 8 tender humans at $26 each and 7 juicy mermaids at $29 each. How much money did she have after that?


    I don't even know how to respond to this: laughter or terror.
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  20. Post #20
    Gold Member
    squids_eye's Avatar
    July 2006
    5,848 Posts
    I bet the kids didn't give a shit. At that age I would have found them more fun than questions about children of different ethnicities buying sweets and sharing them.
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  21. Post #21

    September 2011
    515 Posts
    I love how incredibly absurd the numbers are.
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  22. Post #22
    "Epic Leddit pwner :)"
    UberMunchkin's Avatar
    March 2010
    12,370 Posts
    I bet the kids didn't give a shit. At that age I would have found them more fun than questions about children of different ethnicities buying sweets and sharing them.
    If John had 30 chocolate bars, and ate 2 thirds of them, what would he have?
       Diabetes   
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  23. Post #23
    Ahaha those questions were not at all what I expected when I entered the thread.
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  24. Post #24
    I DRAW SEALS
    xxfalconxx's Avatar
    March 2009
    6,094 Posts
    These questions are awesome!

    I wish my school had these kind of stuff. It'd make learning kind of fun you know. If I ever become a teacher I might start putting problems like this at random out.

    "Johnny staycool has 29 packs of cigarettes and 45 cigar packs. If each cigar pack has 5 cigars, and each cigarette pack has 12, which kind does johnny have more of?"
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  25. Post #25
    One of these days, I'm going to cut you into little pieces.
    AJisAwesome15's Avatar
    May 2011
    5,929 Posts
    this is the best way to get fired
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  26. Post #26
    Lazyboy0337's Avatar
    October 2010
    3,741 Posts
    Teacher of the Year award.
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  27. Post #27
    I'd buy that for a dollar
    Dennab
    September 2008
    5,876 Posts
    My 3 friends and I were caught and tied up by 1023 screaming cannibals in a jungle last night. Soon we were feeling terribly itchy because of the mosquitoes. We begged the cannibals to scratch us. 219 cannibals refused because they were busy cutting vegetables. The rest of them, however, surrounded us in equal numbers and began to scratch us with their teeth, just like dogs. It felt good! How many cannibals scratched me?

    What the fuck kind of question is this?
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  28. Post #28
    If your third-grader comes home crying because he was set these questions you need to slap the pussy out of him immediately.
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  29. Post #29
    Hans-Gunther 3.'s Avatar
    May 2011
    2,711 Posts

    Brian, a brave member of a SWAT team in California, had a terribly busy week last week. He had to work for 7 whole days. He killed 163 terrorists, 296 murderers and 206 arsonists. How many criminals did he kill on average each day?
    Well, it's Singapore but this is still messed up.

    I have an idea!
    Dr. Seaman killed 200 of his neighbours' pets and proceeds to take their livers, hearts and brains along with 2 buckets of blood for each animal. If a liver weighs 1kg, a heart 0.5kg, a brain 1.5kg and a bucket of blood 3kg, how much is the total weight?
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  30. Post #30
    "The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell"
    Chessnut's Avatar
    August 2011
    3,558 Posts
    Human terrorists landed on Planet Xintaks and abducted Princess Txsclotyl. The enraged aliens hurled 1420 asteroids at 7 terrorist training camps on Earth. 482 asteroids landed harmlessly in the Pacific Ocean. However, the rest of the asteroids smashed into each camp in equal numbers. How many asteroids smashed into each camp?
    What the
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  31. Post #31
    What's brevity?
    ironman17's Avatar
    June 2006
    19,817 Posts
    Wow man, these are like the mathematical equivalent of Happy Wheels, sans the physics simulation and whatnot.
    If your third-grader comes home crying because he was set these questions you need to slap the pussy out of him immediately.
    Unless of course it's a she, in which case she needs to harden up regardless and find it as hilarious and crazy as a mature college student would. Which is quite a bit.

  32. Post #32
    Hans-Gunther 3.'s Avatar
    May 2011
    2,711 Posts
    Wow man, these are like the mathematical equivalent of Happy Wheels, sans the physics simulation and whatnot.
    Irresponsible Dad and his son want to go to the store to buy a pack of Pop Tarts but on the way they run over 20184 pedestrians, including Irresponsible Dad's son. But only 2158 were dismembered. If there were 16.41 litres of blood in each dead person, how much blood total would you have in each dismembered and non-dismembered person?
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  33. Post #33
    Gold Member
    Mingebox's Avatar
    February 2010
    14,742 Posts
    When I was sleeping in a forest last night, 2555 fire ants crawled up my nose and built a nest in my brain. I woke up screaming the next morning. My distraught mother rushed me to hospital for an emergency operation. The doctor was able to kill 1953 fire ants. The remaining ants in my brain formed themselves into 7 equal-sized groups and fled to 7 different organs in my body, one being my stomach.
    a) How many fire ants escaped?
    b) How many ants fled to my stomach?
    I wouldn't even give this to college students.
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  34. Post #34
    shatteredwindow's Boy Toy
    cr2142's Avatar
    April 2010
    6,563 Posts
    Homeschool Fun: Printable Math Worksheets
    Third Grade Math Problem 4


    John's father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John's friends came for his funeral the next day. John's grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John's friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?
    This is for 9-10 year olds?
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  35. Post #35
    Gold Member
    GodKing's Avatar
    July 2007
    6,098 Posts
    this is the best way to get fired
    Sorry, did we forget about the jetBlue guy?

  36. Post #36
    Gold Member
    HighdefGE's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,377 Posts
    Johnny has 30 bullets, he enters his school and begins to violently massacre the other students, if it takes 3 bullets to kill 1 student, how many students can he kill?
    10?
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  37. Post #37
    YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME
    The Genie's Avatar
    August 2006
    10,018 Posts
    Very good HighdefGE

    Johnny had only actually killed 8 students, after the S.W.A.T arrived he decided to turn the gun on himself and splattered his brain all across the floor, how many bullets did he not use?
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  38. Post #38
    Hans-Gunther 3.'s Avatar
    May 2011
    2,711 Posts
    Very good HighdefGE

    Johnny has only actually killed 8 students, he decides to turn the gun on himself and splatters his brain all across the floor, how many bullets did he not use?
    5?

    Do I get an A?

  39. Post #39
    YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME
    The Genie's Avatar
    August 2006
    10,018 Posts
    Very good Hans-Gunther 3, you get an A* in Applied Mathematics.
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  40. Post #40
    SK17a
    garychencool's Avatar
    October 2010
    14,066 Posts
    BEST

    MATH

    PROBLEMS

    EVER
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