1. Post #1281
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    please, feel free not to tell us anymore

    for a start the majority of what you say borders on being unbelievable, it just sounds like the kind of things that a 16 year old virgin would love to experience and brag about to his friends, with there actually being very little truth (or none at all) in it.

    and secondly, this thread is generally where people post problems and come here for advice, or to gauge general opinions on subjects. you appear to only come here to gloat, which helps nothing and no one.
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  2. Post #1282
    Gold Member
    Erector Beast's Avatar
    March 2007
    4,163 Posts
    ehh, I use sex, girlfriends, and shit to tell stories too

    except usually theyre pretty believable

    like how my girlfriend blacked out and her friends let her make out with some guy last night, yeah that's a good story
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  3. Post #1283
    TheBigPal's Avatar
    June 2008
    625 Posts
    So the other day I told one of my best friends I liked her, and wanted to take her out sometime. After 2 days of ignoring my texts, she responded with the standard "I value our friendship, I don't want anything with you right now". Lately I feel she's been ignoring me, trying to stay away from me almost. It feels really, really great to be basically ignored after something like this. I'll move on.
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  4. Post #1284
    Gold Member
    Lukeo's Avatar
    October 2006
    6,648 Posts
    So the other day I told one of my best friends I liked her, and wanted to take her out sometime. After 2 days of ignoring my texts, she responded with the standard "I value our friendship, I don't want anything with you right now". Lately I feel she's been ignoring me, trying to stay away from me almost. It feels really, really great to be basically ignored after something like this. I'll move on.
    First of all you're best friends, there wasn't much of a chance of a relationship, if you liked her from the start you should have asked her out then.
    Don't say you like/love/admire a girl, just ask her out.
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  5. Post #1285
    TheBigPal's Avatar
    June 2008
    625 Posts
    First of all you're best friends, there wasn't much of a chance of a relationship, if you liked her from the start you should have asked her out then
    Did you confess your feelings or did you ask her out on a date? Always do the latter
    I asked her out on a date. I wasn't really expecting much, I just had to get it off my chest, I hated not telling her the truth. It was mostly me being misled; at the start of our friendship, she had told a friend of mine she considered me a friend and that was that. A while later, she started talking to me about guys, and how if she doesn't like them at first, she slowly grows to, so I figured I had a bit of a chance. Then she really started growing attached to me lately, so I figured it was the best time. Maybe I was just being overly optimistic half the time. Oh well, it's over with now so it's not that big of a deal anymore.
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  6. Post #1286
    neither is some one with a brain tumour
    until it goes unchecked too long :p
    My friend's dad died from a brain tumor recently.
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  7. Post #1287
    Gold Member
    Radley's Avatar
    December 2009
    6,927 Posts
    Having sex is like oxygen, you don't think about it as long as you get it.



    sometimes I hate my mindset.
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  8. Post #1288
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,194 Posts
    I asked her out on a date. I wasn't really expecting much, I just had to get it off my chest, I hated not telling her the truth. It was mostly me being misled; at the start of our friendship, she had told a friend of mine she considered me a friend and that was that. A while later, she started talking to me about guys, and how if she doesn't like them at first, she slowly grows to, so I figured I had a bit of a chance. Then she really started growing attached to me lately, so I figured it was the best time. Maybe I was just being overly optimistic half the time. Oh well, it's over with now so it's not that big of a deal anymore.
    You were optimistic? So, basically you are saying you don't deserve women, you don't have much to offer? it was just you hoping for? you were following your desires which is exactly what you should have done each and every time.

    Learn from this experience, it contains a lot of mistakes to learn from. As far as I can see, it was worthwhile nonetheless.
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  9. Post #1289
    Gold Member
    sHiBaN's Avatar
    April 2006
    3,981 Posts
    I got my girlfriend addicted to Monster Hunter 3 on the Wii.

    At least she's not a vacuum on my member and begging me constantly over the phone. But now she wants me to go online with her and kill monsters instead. I have the same game and system as well. Pretty uncanny since she was never the video game type, she'd rather design clothing or go work out.

    Fuck my life. Those dragons are pretty fucking annoying to kill. If not in the game, in my mind
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  10. Post #1290
    pakadots's Avatar
    October 2007
    527 Posts
    i've said it before and i'll say it again, sex is a normal factor of most peoples lives, and the longer you hold out waiting, the more you're losing out from a) by not having it b) getting to __ years old without any experience
    I believe this nonchalance view of sex is one of the leading causes to broken families and divorce down the road. I heard a good analogy on the subject before.

    Your sex life is like tape. Each person you stick it with, you leave a little of yourself behind and eventually it doesn't stick to anyone.

    I suppose if you never plan on being a wife or husband it's not something you have to worry about, but for me I Plan On sharing myself with my wife and my wife only. Well besides the few girls I've already been with. If you decide to hold off and wait, you're not doing it for yourself and you're not being snobby, you're doing it for your future spouse.
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  11. Post #1291
    H4yd3n's Avatar
    August 2009
    694 Posts
    I believe this nonchalance view of sex is one of the leading causes to broken families and divorce down the road. I heard a good analogy on the subject before.

    Your sex life is like tape. Each person you stick it with, you leave a little of yourself behind and eventually it doesn't stick to anyone.

    I suppose if you never plan on being a wife or husband it's not something you have to worry about, but for me I Plan On sharing myself with my wife and my wife only. Well besides the few girls I've already been with. If you decide to hold off and wait, you're not doing it for yourself and you're not being snobby, you're doing it for your future spouse.
    Lol I can make analogies too. Sex is like tape, it's sticky. Again, where are you coming from and what do you have to back it up? My father had sex with tons of women before he met my mother and they've been happily married for 27 years. I know people who were both virgins when they got married and they end up divorced. I don't see any statistical proof behind it and your reasons don't even make sense. Sex is sex. I don't see past sexual activity playing any significant role on how well a relationship works.
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  12. Post #1292
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    I suppose if you never plan on being a wife or husband it's not something you have to worry about, but for me I Plan On sharing myself with my wife and my wife only.
    see, to me that just seems like a very old fashioned view, and one that i can't really make sense of
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  13. Post #1293
    BAZ
    Dav0r, buy me a custom title. I'm far too poor ;_;
    BAZ's Avatar
    July 2005
    12,478 Posts
    I was raped.
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  14. Post #1294
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    and again, i agree with H4yd3n

    sex can just be sex. it's physical and that's that. yes, sex is normally far more enjoyable when you have an emotional connection with that person already, but don't be so naive as to think that the more people you sleep with the less sex will ever mean to you

    Edited:

    (and i'm really trying not to sound mean here) but i believe you only think that way because you are a virgin

    Edited:

    If you decide to hold off and wait, you're not doing it for yourself and you're not being snobby, you're doing it for your future spouse.
    and precisely what benefit does this give your future spouse, aside from a greatly inexperienced lover? sounds fab!
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  15. Post #1295
    Gold Member
    Lukeo's Avatar
    October 2006
    6,648 Posts
    You'll finally meet that partner of your dreams, and your first time will consist of struggling to maintain an erection or blowing your load too quickly.
    TRUE LOVE
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  16. Post #1296
    Gold Member
    Erector Beast's Avatar
    March 2007
    4,163 Posts
    start freaking out when you think your dick's broken because you spent 28 years before you used it

    also, you should probably stop masturbating. you know, so that the ejaculation is more special when she makes you do it, because every time you beat off you lose some of your magic to your hand
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  17. Post #1297
    Godline's Avatar
    February 2010
    1,255 Posts
    Pump and dump just
    pump and dump
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  18. Post #1298
    pakadots's Avatar
    October 2007
    527 Posts
    Lol I can make analogies too. Sex is like tape, it's sticky. Again, where are you coming from and what do you have to back it up? My father had sex with tons of women before he met my mother and they've been happily married for 27 years. I know people who were both virgins when they got married and they end up divorced. I don't see any statistical proof behind it and your reasons don't even make sense. Sex is sex. I don't see past sexual activity playing any significant role on how well a relationship works.
    The only proof I can think of is the sudden openness of sex at the end of the 20th century and the rapidly rising divorce rates.

    It seems to me the correlation proves enough that sex is more than a primal instinctual act. And I'm not trying to spout anything as fact. These are solely my opinion.

    But then again one could have nothing to do with the other. Maybe it has to do with toothepaste
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  19. Post #1299
    Gold Member
    Erector Beast's Avatar
    March 2007
    4,163 Posts
    The only proof I can think of is the sudden openness of sex at the end of the 20th century and the rapidly rising divorce rates.

    It seems to me the correlation proves enough that sex is more than a primal instinctual act. And I'm not trying to spout anything as fact. These are solely my opinion.

    But then again one could have nothing to do with the other. Maybe it has to do with toothepaste
    people started getting divorces because they were unhappy and they stopped caring about what the church wanted for them and started caring about what they wanted in order to be happy. you could probably argue the correlation between the sudden rapid development of digital media in the last 30 years and the fall of the soviet union, but just because they happened simultaneously doesnt mean one was a result of the other
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  20. Post #1300
    pakadots's Avatar
    October 2007
    527 Posts
    and again, i agree with H4yd3n

    sex can just be sex. it's physical and that's that. yes, sex is normally far more enjoyable when you have an emotional connection with that person already, but don't be so naive as to think that the more people you sleep with the less sex will ever mean to you

    Edited:

    (and i'm really trying not to sound mean here) but i believe you only think that way because you are a virgin

    Edited:



    and precisely what benefit does this give your future spouse, aside from a greatly inexperienced lover? sounds fab!
    Hehe, again my sexual experience gets assuredly dropped in the conversation without me saying anything about it.

    And the benefit, for me, would be realizing that my spouse felt i was special enough to be chosen as her partner, and that i can fully trust her, that every time she hugs a guy friend i wouldn't be scared of leaving her in the room with the same guy alone, whereas if i knew she had a plentiful sex history i wouldn't be as sure. and vice versa.

    And sex is nothing but a physical act? You guys are dodging my main argument towards the whole thing, if sex is purely physical why does it hurt so badly to find out you've been cheated on, or for children who were sexually abused? Why is all of that so much stronger, and so much more painful than being physically abused, (Not at all trying to deduct from the seriousness of physical abuse)
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  21. Post #1301
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    And the benefit, for me, would be realizing that my spouse felt i was special enough to be chosen as her partner, and that i can fully trust her, that every time she hugs a guy friend i wouldn't be scared of leaving her in the room with the same guy alone, whereas if i knew she had a plentiful sex history i wouldn't be as sure. and vice versa.
    wow. i think you must have some serious trust issues if that's really how you feel

    Edited:

    and i personally didn't say that sex was purely physical, i said that it *could* be
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  22. Post #1302
    Gold Member
    mike's Avatar
    October 2005
    4,304 Posts
    i can fully trust her, that every time she hugs a guy friend i wouldn't be scared of leaving her in the room with the same guy alone, whereas if i knew she had a plentiful sex history i wouldn't be as sure.
    sounds like you need to chill

    if sex is purely physical why does it hurt so badly to find out you've been cheated on
    if you're treating it as a casual, physical thing then it doesn't?...

    or for children who were sexually abused?
    this is a totally different kettle of fish
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  23. Post #1303
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    in fact i don't think that anyone has said that sex is just a physical act and that's all there ever is to it
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  24. Post #1304
    Gold Member
    Lukeo's Avatar
    October 2006
    6,648 Posts
    sex is a physical act and that's all there ever is to it
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  25. Post #1305
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    sex is a physical act and that's all there ever is to it
    oh you scoundrel!!
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  26. Post #1306
    Gold Member
    T2L_Goose's Avatar
    July 2006
    11,833 Posts
    I'm back together with the girl from a few pages back. I really hope this doesn't go to shit, everything is so great again. She's really afraid that her past will make me think less of her. While the things she's told me about her life so far are incredibly tragic, and have opened my eyes up to a whole other world, they in no way change my opinion of her. I just hope she overcomes this fear in time.
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  27. Post #1307
    Hi Jo
    Jo The Shmo's Avatar
    February 2009
    22,758 Posts
    I believe this nonchalance view of sex is one of the leading causes to broken families and divorce down the road. I heard a good analogy on the subject before.
    well thats a nice belief, but did you know it's actually been proven that it's caused by the changing view of marriage in today's society?
    in the past, people married for money, because of pressure, because it "made sense", etc.
    now, we marry for love, and it turns out its much harder to keep love in a relationship than a steady flow of money
    since we take marriage much more personally now, it also leads to more people getting separated (a perfectly healthy thing to do) rather than just saying "eh ill deal with it for another 50 years"
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  28. Post #1308
    Mort and Charon's Avatar
    April 2009
    1,903 Posts
    Hehe, again my sexual experience gets assuredly dropped in the conversation without me saying anything about it.

    And the benefit, for me, would be realizing that my spouse felt i was special enough to be chosen as her partner, and that i can fully trust her, that every time she hugs a guy friend i wouldn't be scared of leaving her in the room with the same guy alone, whereas if i knew she had a plentiful sex history i wouldn't be as sure. and vice versa.

    And sex is nothing but a physical act? You guys are dodging my main argument towards the whole thing, if sex is purely physical why does it hurt so badly to find out you've been cheated on, or for children who were sexually abused? Why is all of that so much stronger, and so much more painful than being physically abused, (Not at all trying to deduct from the seriousness of physical abuse)
    I seriously think you'll finally have sex and think "why the fuck did I wait all that time for this?".
    You'd be incredibly lucky if your first time was good and completely successful. I think you'll regret not having past experiences to make it better when you finally meet your girl.

    And how long are you going to wait? I don't see how you're going to develop a relationship to the point you trust her completely, and know you're going to marry her until you've had all the sexual experience. Have you even been in a proper relationship? Good sex is an important part of a strong relationship in my opinion, it is a lot about trusting each other, communicating properly with each other, looking after one anothers needs and catering for your partner. Sharing that pleasure together also seems to bring you together.

    It's kind of a catch 22- in my opinion, sex would play a key role in choosing who you'd want to be with and finding out if you cared for them and trusted them. But you're saying you wouldn't have sex until you knew all that already.
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  29. Post #1309
    pakadots's Avatar
    October 2007
    527 Posts
    I'm just thinking about my future. and i think others shouldn't feel pressured by the general media, massively shared view, that holding off makes you a pussy or less of a man. If it makes a difference i'm not a virgin, i could count my number of partners on one hand.

    One could argue that the more you do something, the less vulnerable you become. (Getting up on stage for example though that doesnt work with what im about to say). When i think about the first person i loved, I was completely vulnerable, when i found out it was one sided, i was terri-petrified.

    Yes, it was infatuation, but either way, the more experience i got in the matter, the less i felt like i could be hurt. But in turn the less of an award it was for me (I think; had i actually gotten with that first girl)

    Has anyone heard of tantric sexuality? i don't think that could be shared with someone you didn't love.

    I think i was taken out of context from waiting for marriage (Since i used the word spouse), opposed waiting for love.
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  30. Post #1310
    Gold Member
    Erector Beast's Avatar
    March 2007
    4,163 Posts
    If it makes a difference i'm not a virgin, i could count my number of partners on one hand.
    get it

    because he uses one hand to beat it

    but in all seriousness, why would you trust a virgin more to be faithful to you than a girl with some experience? if she's had sex before and decides you're the one she wants to settle down with, shouldn't that say more than the girl who's never had sex and could suddenly have a different view once she does?
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  31. Post #1311
    Mort and Charon's Avatar
    April 2009
    1,903 Posts
    Again, I think sex is part of finding out if you love someone, so I couldn't see how you could wait to find love to have sex?

    And everything you've said so far made me think you haven't had sex before .
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  32. Post #1312
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    so, lemme get this straight

    you're not a virgin, you can count the amount of girls you've been with on a hand
    but you plan on "sharing yourself with your wife and your wife only"
    and you're telling people that they should save their virginity because it'd be better for their future spouse

    but what i don't get is how you could be sure that that was your view *before* you'd already slept with someone... surely it took the act of having sex with some one to make you realise that now you want to hold out for your future wife?
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  33. Post #1313
    pakadots's Avatar
    October 2007
    527 Posts
    so, lemme get this straight

    you're not a virgin, you can count the amount of girls you've been with on a hand
    but you plan on "sharing yourself with your wife and your wife only"
    and you're telling people that they should save their virginity because it'd be better for their future spouse

    but what i don't get is how you could be sure that that was your view *before* you'd already slept with someone... surely it took the act of having sex with some one to make you realise that now you want to hold out for your future wife?
    I misspoke when i said wife, and spouse, i meant someone you loved deeply, who i assumed would eventually turn into spouse or whatever.

    It wasn't my view before. Before losing your virginity you have such a high expectation for it. You think you'll be a new person. It was the realization from having sex with just a few girls that were attractive though i felt nothing for them, that i noticed i wasn't getting attached to any of them, though they were very strongly attached to me(This is why i wasn't going to use my own history because it seems as if i'm making myself out to be some hard ass muhfucka). Sex doesn't make relationships, that last. Relationships should be formed, then sex should be shared, and it is my belief that the sex will be more precious(though i expect someone will quickly tell me it doesnt make a difference). Knocked Up was a fairy tale story.

    If there is no love involved, yes it's just a physical act, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have consequences on your being. You are hardening your heart. I'm guessing, though i have no real knowledge of brains, that there's probably some sort of endorphin released each time you have sex, and the more and more partners you have the lesser amount is released for each person, im going to do a little bit of research to either deny or verify this 'hypothesis'.

    There are a few good arguments, so i'm glad you guys aren't making it easy. But let me clarify, my original statement was intended for virgins who may or may not feel the need to go out and have sex just so they're no longer virgins, that being a virgin isn't a bad thing.

    And for everyone saying anything about skill, it takes like once or twice to realize how everything works, practice makes perfect yea, but why not perfect the skill with a loved one?
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  34. Post #1314
    Gold Member
    Erector Beast's Avatar
    March 2007
    4,163 Posts
    yeah, the endorphin 'hypothesis' is wrong. sex isn't ecstasy, as long as you dont orgasm eight times in a row it's still going to feel good the next day

    of course being a virgin isnt being a bad thing, and sex is something that's made better if youre in a relationship, but you can also have sex out of a relationship for the thrill of having sex with a new partner. it wont degrade any future sex you have with someone you love.
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  35. Post #1315
    H4yd3n's Avatar
    August 2009
    694 Posts
    And for everyone saying anything about skill, it takes like once or twice to realize how everything works, practice makes perfect yea, but why not perfect the skill with a loved one?
    Realizing how everything works and being good at it are totally different things.
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  36. Post #1316
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    but i don't think anybody here has ever suggested that people go out and lose their virginity just for the sake of losing it. not valuing it at all probably isn't the best idea, but by over glamourising it into this completely magical thing that should only be saved for The One and that 'if you lose it with anyone else will only lead to a lonely, miserable life' is complete rubbish and i don't think it's good (or fair) advice to give.

    everybody should know if they're ready to have sex or not, and if some people feel like they want to hold out for longer, then who is anyone to try and stop them. i just disagree when you're telling it like it's the best advice for a long and fulfilling relationship.

    that said, most of the rest of what you've just said ^ makes sense to me, so really we've just gone a really long way around to agreeing on something that we pretty much agreed with already... (apart from your theory about endorphin release being reduced per amount of partners you have, that sounds like complete bull to me)

    ah well, maybe we've all learnt a little something

    Edited:

    Realizing how everything works and being good at it are totally different things.
    yep yep yep
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  37. Post #1317
    Godline's Avatar
    February 2010
    1,255 Posts
    fucking hell autumn best reply ive seen from you since this thread started.
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  38. Post #1318
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,371 Posts
    cheers mate
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  39. Post #1319
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,352 Posts
    Also, yea maybe in highschool admitting you're a virgin is shameful, but you'll find the older you get the rarer they become, and if you find that you're a virgin not due to lack of opportunity but because you respect yourself and your future wife/lover, Well fuck, youre a prized being.
    bah what a horrible thing to say.
    and you basically said my girlfriend was untrustworthy because she's had multiple sex-partners.
    guess what, the amount of people you have sex with tends to go up when you are in your twenties, and it doesn't mean you're not a "prized being".

    why would i respect my future wife/lover, she hasn't done anything worthwhile yet.
    (bah i'm late to this discussion!)
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  40. Post #1320
    Mobon1's Avatar
    January 2010
    2,501 Posts
    "i'm gonna respect someone that may or may not ever show up by saving my sex life for them!"

    that's like saying you'll never eat a chip until you find the perfect chip.

    the chip doesn't give a shit even when you find it.
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