1. Post #121
    Ratzz's Avatar
    July 2009
    1,001 Posts
    [DATA EXPUNGED] █████ ███████████████ █████ █████ █████ ██ retarded blind [DATA EXPUNGED] permanently attached [DATA EXPUNGED]
    What a █████ █████ █████ of ██ [DATA EXPUNGED].

    Observation of the employees in their homes or private lives also reveals [DATA EXPUNGED], often to the point of only being aroused by [DATA EXPUNGED]


    Whenever a mammal is released into its cell, it will be drawn to the corresponding teat for its species and then proceed to suckle as long as they are unimpeded.
    Give it up for SCP-597, everybody.
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  2. Post #122
    Shane Alvarado's Avatar
    September 2011
    1,033 Posts
    I read this sometimes. I haven't in a while, though.

    Ill restate that SCP-835 is one of the most disgusting things Ive ever read about.

    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-835
    Of those I remember right now, this is my favorite.
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  3. Post #123
    Has volunteered for dissection because the doctor is cute
    Tomo Takino's Avatar
    May 2009
    19,593 Posts
    Of those I remember right now, this is my favorite.
    Its so disgusting, but I cant stop reading it.
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  4. Post #124
    Gold Member
    Mingebox's Avatar
    February 2010
    13,831 Posts
    I always wondered how they don't manage to expend the entire imprisoned population of the US in months with how fast they go through Class-D's.
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  5. Post #125
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  6. Post #126
    Connoisseur of Maple Syrup, Guns, and Sex Toys
    Dennab
    August 2008
    5,053 Posts


    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-610
    "The Flesh That Hates"
    A rather disturbing mass of flesh that spans a large area in the Ukraine. It actively attacks and transforms other lifeforms (particularly humans) into more of itself and fills the countryside. It is basically indestructible, highly aggressive and is spread incredibly deep underground.
    Just thought I'd point out that SCP-610 is in Russia, not Ukraine. Specifically, Southern Siberia, as stated in the article, mostly within the Irkutsk Oblast as pointed out on the map here
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  7. Post #127
    Benstokes's Avatar
    October 2009
    1,804 Posts
    Snippin' automerge
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  8. Post #128
    Gold Member
    magicman1234's Avatar
    September 2008
    5,068 Posts
    I remember I was on my iPad eating a filet-mignon when I read "The Flesh That Hates"
    I didn't eat steak for 2 months after.
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  9. Post #129
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  10. Post #130
    Gold Member
    Pennywise's Avatar
    July 2005
    2,664 Posts
    what's up with dr. bright anyway

    i read something about him getting captured in an amulet which makes people have his personality and memory when exposed to it (or something) but i really don't know
    If I recall correctly, Bright somehow got his soul mixed up with an amulet in such a way that people who wear it turn into him. And since he isn't really... well, bright, they keep him around by giving the amulet to some random D-class and retrieving it to repeat the process when Bright inevitably gets his host murdered to death.
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  11. Post #131
    Gold Member
    wewt!'s Avatar
    July 2008
    12,039 Posts
    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-953
    It has a tendency to kill furries
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  12. Post #132
    Gold Member
    pyschomc's Avatar
    February 2005
    2,568 Posts
    SCP-343 Seems like a pretty cool guy 8D http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-343
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  13. Post #133
    GeneralFredrik's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,446 Posts
    So I went into the experiment log 914 from the SCP-914. http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/experiment-log-914

    Input:1 Little Pearl Vibrator
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: 1 small black box, bearing a red button. When the button is pressed, everyone in line of sight of the object except the holder experiences an overpowering orgasm.

    Note: The Very Fine has been confiscated by Oversight, due to potential for misuse.

    Note: Dr. Bright has been forcibly removed from any further experimentation involving SCP-914, and all output objects have been destroyed. This is just getting silly. -Dr. Kondraki



    Input: 1x Can of Diet Coke
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One can of Diet Ultra Coke, sweetened with █████. Expiration Date 6/8/2147. Tasted by several researchers, who agreed it's "The best damn diet soda I've ever tried!" Attempts to isolate █████ and market it as a sweetener for benefit of the SCP Foundation are in progress.
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  14. Post #134
    scratch (nl)'s Avatar
    January 2010
    9,087 Posts
    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682

    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-294

    Addendum [SCP-294y]: Computer logs on SCP open server show researcher keyed in "Something that'll destroy SCP-682." Recovered video logs show a stream of a brightly glowing liquid pouring into the cup. Liquid increases in visual intensity to the point that the camera ceases to be capable of recording. All contact with Site ██ is lost at this time. An investigation concluded that Site ██ was completely vaporized, with the only remaining trace being a small clump of trees surrounding SCP-294. SCP-294 was promptly transferred to another containment site and held with identical containment procedures as before. Information about the incident is to be disclosed only to O5 personnel. Any further test involving SCP-682 will be forbidden under pain of demotion to Class D.
    I guess it's hard to kill 682
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  15. Post #135
    i broke the forums and i'm happy
    Empty_Shadow's Avatar
    July 2006
    7,432 Posts
    What about the paper cup
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  16. Post #136
    scratch (nl)'s Avatar
    January 2010
    9,087 Posts
    for some reason the paper cups that coffee machine dispenses can hold whatever is inside without dissolving/melting/burning.
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  17. Post #137
    Gold Member
    Mingebox's Avatar
    February 2010
    13,831 Posts
    Man, I just remember they also kill all Class-D at the end of every month. Seriously, where do they get all these guys?
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  18. Post #138
    elitehakor v2's Avatar
    June 2010
    3,836 Posts
    Man, I just remember they also kill all Class-D at the end of every month. Seriously, where do they get all these guys?
    D: Class D personnel are designated staff used to handle the Keter-level objects. Warning: Class D personnel are not permitted interaction with class D personnel assigned to a different object or SCP personnel. Class D personnel are recruited from prison inmates. Condemned persons are preferred; in times of duress, Protocol 12 can be authorized, allowing recruitment of innocents or persons incarcerated for lesser crimes. All Class D personnel are to be terminated at the first of the month, and a new staff must be ready to replace them. After placement in quarters, staff must only contact Class D personnel through intercom system. All Class D personnel are to be given a minimum of one (1) polygraph tests at 1800 on a daily basis. Failure to comply will result in termination. Failure to pass test will result in termination. In event of any abnormalities, termination of entire Class D personnel is advised, as well as any SCP personnel that have had basic interaction with them.
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  19. Post #139
    Gold Member
    Mingebox's Avatar
    February 2010
    13,831 Posts
    Yeah, I know that, but they must go through a thousand inmates a year, not counting the ones killed by SCPs. You'd think they'd run out of condemned prisoners.
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  20. Post #140
    scratch (nl)'s Avatar
    January 2010
    9,087 Posts
    I laughed pretty hard when I saw this one, and at this

    Note: Despite many requests, no, we will not expose SCP-230 to SCP-252. I don't care how funny "The Gayest Gay Man Alive" sounds. - Dr. ██████
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  21. Post #141
    i broke the forums and i'm happy
    Empty_Shadow's Avatar
    July 2006
    7,432 Posts
    for some reason the paper cups that coffee machine dispenses can hold whatever is inside without dissolving/melting/burning.
    That's what I meant, what happened to the cup when they accidentally the entire facility.
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  22. Post #142
    Gold Member
    Hattiwatti's Avatar
    October 2007
    2,229 Posts
    Thanks OP!
    I was trying to find this site, but didn't remember the name of it.
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  23. Post #143
    Valor
    Novangel's Avatar
    September 2008
    18,030 Posts
    Don't worry, never mind everyone else, it survived.
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  24. Post #144
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    January 2005
    4,680 Posts
    Subject keyed "Pan-Galactic ██████-███████." The machine dispensed a fluid, a dark yellowish-green in color, which effervesced and appeared to give off a vapor similar to that observed in the sublimation of dry ice. Subject drank what he called "a single minuscule sip" of the fluid; he later reported the taste as being somewhere between a gin and tonic, a margarita, and a glass of Scotch whisky. Upon swallowing, subject was seen to collapse. Dr. ██████ assisted subject to infirmary and asked for a description of symptoms. Subject reported a massive migraine-like headache, nausea, and mild disorientation, accompanied however by an incomparable feeling of euphoria. Aftereffects of euphoria and intoxication continued for 18 hours, during which time subject was under careful medical observation; aforementioned negative aftereffects also remained for 18 hours, after which time they worsened and persisted for an additional six hours. Subject requested a dose of SCP-500; request was denied and he was given Excedrin instead. Subject promptly consumed entire bottle of Excedrin. Despite Dr. ██████'s expectations, subject suffered absolutely no deleterious effects from overdose of acetaminophen and acetylsalicylic acid; subject instead reported prompt cessation of "hangover" within ten minutes of consumption. It is theorized that massive overconsumption of pain relievers is precisely what is necessary to counteract the ill effects of a ██████-███████. The fluid in question has been taken under study. Approximately 14 as yet unidentified compounds have been isolated, although not without some difficulty, as the liquid seems to react violently to metallic instruments; its effects on glass or as subject's case shows flesh are negligible, but it reacts as though it were an acid when it comes into contact with metal. Dr. ██████ considers it inadvisable at this time to allow any personnel to drink more than one sip of this fluid.
    hahahahahah a fucking pan-galactic gargle blaster that's gold
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  25. Post #145
    Combiner8761's Avatar
    October 2008
    249 Posts
    It seems that the guys at the foundation loves pasta as much as I do!
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  26. Post #146
    i broke the forums and i'm happy
    Empty_Shadow's Avatar
    July 2006
    7,432 Posts
    Sounds like a pot that makes a lot of copypasta.

    Although the radio transcript makes it seem more like creepypasta.
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  27. Post #147
    I am obsessed with titles; it is all I talk about
    avon43's Avatar
    August 2010
    2,138 Posts
    Description: SCP-50-AE-J is an IMI Desert Eagle, with an American flag print grip. SCP-50-AE-J is unremarkable except for the fact that when fired, an adult bald eagle, designated SCP-50-AE-1, emerges from the barrel and attacks anyone who displays Communist beliefs, Russian ancestry, or unpatriotic leanings. SCP-50-AE-1 differs from a normal bald eagle specimen in that it not only appears to be able to detect sociopolitcal beliefs, but also can talk, usually screaming slogans such as "Better dead than red" and "Democracy is non-negotiable". Investigations into the further properties of SCP-50-AE-1 have been stymied by the fact that SCP-50-AE-1 continues to attack Foundation scientists, calling them "PINKO FUCKS".

    Test Log: SCP-50-AE-J

    Test #1: SCP-50-AE-J was fired at a Class-D test subject, D-1409. SCP-50-AE-1 emerged, and savaged D-1409, while yelling "UP YOUR LEBENSRAUM YOU UBERMENSCH FUCK". D-1409 was later discovered to be of predominantly German heritage, but was a 2nd generation American immigrant with full citizenship.

    Discoveries: SCP-50-AE-1 appears to be able to distinguish genetic and racial information in its targets. SCP-50-AE-1 also appears to have a profound dislike of Germans. D-1409 is to be incinerated entirely, after his testicles are recovered from SCP-50-AE-1.

    Test #2: SCP-50-AE-J was fired at Class-D test subject D-6554. SCP-50-AE-1 emerged, and following its usual pattern of behavior, disemboweled D-6554 while simultaneously screeching "The only good communist is a communist with his guts held in my dripping claws". D-6554's death was later discovered to have been hastened by anaphylactic shock from an allergic reaction, caused by particulates in his lungs found to be consistent with matter from [REDACTED]. A follow up investigation confirmed that D-1409 had performed a test involving [REDACTED], shortly before testing with SCP-50-AE-J began.

    Discoveries: SCP-50-AE-1 is a consistent entity, and appears to be summoned rather than created when SCP-50-AE-J is fired. Research into effects this could have upon containment are ongoing.
    One of my favorite joke SCP's
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  28. Post #148
    Egg
    Egg's Avatar
    September 2011
    155 Posts
    SCP-202 interested me

    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-202
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  29. Post #149
    scratch (nl)'s Avatar
    January 2010
    9,087 Posts
    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-614

    Brb downloading BF3
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  30. Post #150
    Kawaii Member
    CheeseMan's Avatar
    July 2005
    16,370 Posts
    Entry 1000, "Bigfoot" is actually pretty fucking incredible. Won't spoil anything, but be sure to read the whole thing.

    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1000
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  31. Post #151
    PIRATE METAL BASTARD
    Zenpod's Avatar
    October 2009
    7,443 Posts
    So I went into the experiment log 914 from the SCP-914. http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/experiment-log-914

    Input:1 Little Pearl Vibrator
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: 1 small black box, bearing a red button. When the button is pressed, everyone in line of sight of the object except the holder experiences an overpowering orgasm.

    Note: The Very Fine has been confiscated by Oversight, due to potential for misuse.

    Note: Dr. Bright has been forcibly removed from any further experimentation involving SCP-914, and all output objects have been destroyed. This is just getting silly. -Dr. Kondraki



    Input: 1x Can of Diet Coke
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One can of Diet Ultra Coke, sweetened with █████. Expiration Date 6/8/2147. Tasted by several researchers, who agreed it's "The best damn diet soda I've ever tried!" Attempts to isolate █████ and market it as a sweetener for benefit of the SCP Foundation are in progress.
    Name: Junior Assistant Ibor
    Date: ██/██/20██
    Input: Five (5) issues of [REDACTED] pornographic magazine.
    Setting: Very fine.
    Output: [DATA EXPUNGED] of a naked woman.
    OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT CONSERVATION OF MASS OH GOD - Junior Assistant Ibor
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  32. Post #152
    scratch (nl)'s Avatar
    January 2010
    9,087 Posts
    Input: Helium balloon, red
    Setting: Fine
    Output: Long, thin helium balloon twisted into a biological shape resembling SCP-682
    Note: Experiments have shown that the balloon demonstrates a high resilience to attempts to puncture or pop it, but fortunately lacks the nihilistic vitriol against existence possessed by the original SCP and is, in fact, inanimate.
    682 is wherever you go
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  33. Post #153
    Gay Member #1
    Dennab
    November 2009
    5,519 Posts



    amg a lizard
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  34. Post #154
    The addendum makes it oh so much better.

    Edited:

    Output: 1x cube of unknown light-red metal, with a volume of 1.2 cubic meters. Size is three times that of the original input, suggesting that the input Telekill Alloy is three times more dense than the output. Metal has a melting point of 700C and an evaporation point of 1400C, matching with the 'Coarse' output, although does not show the same physical properties change when reaching 0C, like the previous output. Metal, when touched by a sentient human being, inhibits all senses for a period of 30 (thirty) minutes after the first time is touched (that is, if the object is held for 5 seconds, the period of inhibition will last 30 minutes and 5 seconds). Witnesses have later described it as a "VERY unpleasant experience," and also manifested sensations of "wild hallucinations," similar to a near-overdose of Lysergic Acid. —SCP catalogation has been denied.
    Jesus christ that would be horrible
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  35. Post #155
    Chernobyl426's Avatar
    May 2011
    2,206 Posts
    SCP-705 and SCP-093 are definitely two of the most unique ones. My personal favorite being SCP-705 for the fact it would be amazing to see clay troops fight to the death and progress as a society when I could also play god and strike them down SCP-093 takes the place as the most thought out and overall best written SCP. If you read all of the tests you would understand why it crushes any competition. http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-453 I love this one too for many reasons but it is very underrated.
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  36. Post #156
    Gold Member
    EmperorVagak's Avatar
    February 2008
    3,251 Posts
    http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-686

    Lactation regardless of gender...

    ...

    Okay, whatever.

    Edited:

    It seems that the guys at the foundation loves pasta as much as I do!
    It seems like a strong reference to this book.



    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strega_Nona
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  37. Post #157
    SomTervo's Avatar
    October 2010
    587 Posts
    http://www.scp-wiki.net/skybluesky

    I quite like this one
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  38. Post #158
    APinAP's Avatar
    March 2009
    496 Posts
    Input: A teddy bear of insignificant make, brown.
    Setting: Very fine
    Output: A brown fluffy ball of synthetic material, resembling a symmetrical wad of cotton approximately 10cm in diameter. Is shown to be waterproof, fireproof and displays extreme durability. When squeezed roughly, ball steadily expands into shape of a juvenile harp seal, changes colour to grey. Object appears animate like in previous experiment, but did not speak. Displayed standard behaviour of a juvenile harp seal, appeared to regard researcher as parent. Researcher comments that "it was the cutest thing [he] had ever seen!" Upon forceful retrieval from researcher's grasp by Agent █████, citing possible memetic effect, the seal immediately contracted into its original state and expanded into animate blue four-legged creature resembling a mutated mudskipper. Agent █████, despite previous actions, instantly hugs object, squealing in apparent glee. Agent █████ then requested object for personal use, request denied. Object is now in possession of Researcher Min.
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  39. Post #159
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  40. Post #160
    APinAP's Avatar
    March 2009
    496 Posts
    Input: 1 (one) ██████ brand 'Super-Duper Bouncy Ball'
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: One ball, that appears unchanged from the input. There is however, a difference in its [REDACTED] properties, exhibited when dropped by Researcher █. ██████ [REDACTED] forty-five casualties, twelve injuries [DATA EXPUNGED] ███ escape velocity, [DATA EXPUNGED] spotted orbiting Mars.
    Isn't this just SCP-018?

    Edited:

    My automerge, you broke it

    Edited:

    Name: Dr. Bridge
    Date: ██/█/20██
    Total Items: 1x laser pointer, 1x container █████-brand simulated bacon bits.

    Input: One (1) 200mw laser pointer pen, one (1) container █████-brand simulated bacon bits.
    Setting: Very Fine
    Output: Resultant instrument weighed 99% the combined weight of both Input objects; when activated, produces a ray that caused affected foodstuffs to carry a strong hint of bacon flavour. If aimed at a living object, target will produce a strong bacon scent for approximately four and a half hours.
    what
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