1. Post #41
    $1 title pls
    DienDwemar's Avatar
    June 2007
    1,652 Posts
    This happens so often, I work in a Woolworths bottle shop.

    Customer: Do you price match the wine? Since I saw this downstairs for $10 and in here it's $14.
    Me: No sorry, we don't price match, you could get another one or-
    Customer: People like you are the reason everything is so expensive! It sickens me you can charge so much more than the other stores.
    Me: Sorry, I have no control over the prices, I am just working here.
    Customer: Yeah, I'm sure, well you should change it or price match for me.
    Me: Why don't you just go downstairs and buy it?
    -Customer storms off-
    The other bottle shop is literally 20 metres away.

    Also:
    Me: Can I see I.D?
    Customer: Yeah, I'm 20 I just left my I.D in the car.
    Me: Well, you will have to go get it mate, I can get in trouble if they see I didn't check you.
    Customer: WHAT THE FUCK I AM 20 AND I COME IN HERE AND YOU WANT TO CHECK MY I.D! DO I LOOK 16 TO YOU?
    Me: Sorry, but I could say that I'm the king of England, but that doesn't mean it's true, so either go somewhere else or go get your I.D.

    Or.. Just people generally threatening you because they are really drunk and you can't serve them..
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Australia Show Events Agree Agree x 33Funny Funny x 8 (list)

  2. Post #42
    Gold Member
    Sir Whoopsalot's Avatar
    August 2010
    23,081 Posts
    The only thing I really hate about my job (shelf stacker) is one of my supervisors.
    He's the type of guy who slags you off for taking too long while constantly helping out the other guys or sends you on other errands.
    Besides that, I like my job. Pay's nice, colleagues are cool and the job itself isn't too bad.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Netherlands Show Events

  3. Post #43
    Esrange's Avatar
    October 2010
    1,115 Posts
    I remember one of these threads before

    Did I ever post the story of the cracked-out teenager?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Informative Informative x 2 (list)

  4. Post #44
    Gold Member
    blerb's Avatar
    December 2006
    667 Posts
    I work at a full-service gas station, normally alone on my shifts. I've had quite a few fuck-fests.

    There was this one time that I was pumping gas for a guy, but I didn't quite hear how much he wanted. He wanted 50, but it's hard to differentiate between 50 and 15, so I asked him as politely as fucking possible, "pardon me sir?"

    Before I continue, I'd just like to say that this guy had the biggest fucking nose you'll ever see. I'm not even kidding when I say that it was probably a good 5 times the size of my nose, and my nose is pretty big...

    Anyways, After I asked him, he turned around and stared at me with the dumbest fucking look. He then continued on his way, to which I said "sir, how much gas would you like?" He turns to me, and yells "FIFTYYYYYYYYYYY" in a really nasally voice. Try saying "fifty" in a really deep, super-nasally voice. That's what he sounded like.

    Since I was busy both in the store and outside at the pumps, I was in a generally stressed mood, and I was prone to frustration. I was pissed, and without even thinking, I turned to him and said "SORRYYYYY" in the same nasal-shit voice he had. He did that I'm-so-offended scoff and ran (literally) into the store. It was the most awkward silence when he paid for his gas.


    There was also this one time when a guy wanted his receipt for gas, but since there's 3, (the one from the cash, a legitimate gas receipt with mileage on it and a debit receipt, which is what he paid with) so I asked him "what receipt would you like, sir?" to which he replied "YA YOU NOW THE PIECE OF PAPER THAT THE MACHINE PRINTS?" I shrugged and handed him his debit receipt and he left.

    Not even 5 minutes later, he comes back asking where the mileage is on the receipt. Not even saying a word, I printed him a gas receipt, handed it to him, and he stared at it for 5 minutes and eventually left. I felt bad for him, really, I'd hate to be that stupid.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista Canada Show Events Funny Funny x 56 (list)

  5. Post #45
    Gold Member
    Sir Whoopsalot's Avatar
    August 2010
    23,081 Posts
    I remember one of these threads before

    Did I ever post the story of the cracked-out teenager?
    Who gives a shit, post it again!
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Netherlands Show Events Agree Agree x 48Disagree Disagree x 1Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  6. Post #46
    Chernobyl426's Avatar
    May 2011
    2,581 Posts
    I could never work in retail. I have a temper from hell and if someone gets in my face over something stupid I'll tell them to fuck off. My main concern after reading these stories and parents and M-rated games. Dumb mothers
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 18 (list)

  7. Post #47
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,350 Posts
    *shivers* retail

    i've done things i'm not proud of at all, just to fund my education.
    some of the people who work higher-up are fucking sadistic.


    if any of you have doubts about how important education is, go fucking work in retail for a store with a lot of customers. you'll do your homework and be early for class everyday just so you won't have to go back.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 15Agree Agree x 5 (list)

  8. Post #48
    MendozaMan's Avatar
    April 2007
    5,111 Posts
    I once worked as an IT help in a hospital, so you'd get your share of weird things but the weirdest thing happened is when I got a call to go help the surgeons' computers in the surgery departement.

    So I call out my older supervisor, and we both head there, first having to go through a 30min sterlization checkup, then putting on those awkward plastic clothes and shoes/hats, THEN answer some basic questions before we were allowed in.

    We walk up to this imposing surgeon-guy, cladded in full getup, and he calmly says "Our computer for keeping track of the patients froze, could you fix it?"

    At this point I'm thinking "Wait a minute, did he say it just froze?"
    So with all my skill in fixing higher tech things, I push the button that turns it off, and then push it again to turn it back on again.

    "Oh, that seemed to have fixed it, you're good at these things you know!"
    So here we have a multi-doctorate, top-of-the-class latin-speaking surgeon, who can't tell where the on/off button is on a normal PC.

    After we had gone through the whole thing of getting the clothes off again and we got back in our cosy IT-room, I burst out laughing in front of my supervisor.
    He didn't give me any remarks, he just said "After working here for years, you get used to that kind of stuff".
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Belgium Show Events Funny Funny x 92 (list)

  9. Post #49
    World's Okayest Comic Guy
    usaokay's Avatar
    February 2005
    17,904 Posts
    My Mom, who is a Pharmacist at Rite Aid, told me about a racist Mexican customer who called my mom a "chink" and that she should be put back to where she came from - all over some pharmacy store hours (or the time when my mom works, I forgot).

    The Mexican customer came up to my Mom the following day and apologized.


    Oh yeah, my Mom is a Cambodian immigrant.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Show Events Friendly Friendly x 28Disagree Disagree x 1Agree Agree x 1Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  10. Post #50
    Connoisseur of Maple Syrup, Guns, and Sex Toys
    Dennab
    August 2008
    5,053 Posts
    I could never work in retail. I have a temper from hell and if someone gets in my face over something stupid I'll tell them to fuck off. My main concern after reading these stories and parents and M-rated games. Dumb mothers
    I thought so too. I'm a really angry person. But working retail tempered my rage real fucking quick.

    If you want to keep your job you learn to wait until the customer leaves THEN you mock them.

    My boss is really fucking cool about that. I can't count how many times he'll flip shit once a customer leaves and mock them or call them stupid cunts or something like that. It's goddamn hilarious.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events

  11. Post #51
    JumpinJackFlash's Avatar
    December 2010
    2,268 Posts
    I worked at the dreaded People's Socialist Republic of Wal-Martistan, and it fucking sucked. I finally got fired for several things, one of which was reaming a customer a new asshole and I was entirely right for doing so. Never working retail again, I'm too much of an angry person for it.

    One particular day it was pretty much typical weather in Minnesota. Sunny one minute, downpour the next with a slight chance of biblical plague. I arrived at 9:45 AM, punched in at 10:00 AM and started my shift by "zoning" which really means making shit look pretty. I had heard the storm rolling in and being Minnesotan I knew in my sleep it was going to storm, but the out of state assholes apparently aren't gifted like we are. People came in, soggy and wet bitching the whole way while the locals were like "wow a bit rainy, don'tcha know?" Anyway, it was getting towards the middle of the day (4 PM) when the power (finally) went out and we had to start ushering people out of the store. Of course Wal-Marts are supposed to be open 24/7 and people are getting antsy and angry, while this one confused old man is sort of hobbling towards the exit. Well because of the water, he slips and falls then struggles to stand back up. Of course I wander over to him to go help, but not before this total bitch STEPS OVER HIM and says aloud "oh hahaha what a fucking dumbass" or something. I knew she at least called him a dumbass but holy SHIT I was pissed. I hurry closer and help the old guy up, he thanks me and finally I get to leave about fifteen minutes later. Still fuming about that whole mess, I got into my car and started the drive home. Of course the roads were awful but really nobody was in the ditch, but some people had pulled over. Used to driving in shit conditions, I just went onward until I saw this ridiculous foreign car in the ditch some ways and I stop to see if they're alright. GUESS WHO'S THE DRIVER! That's fucking right, the same broad who stepped over the old man and I step out to greet her. She opened up with a long list of complaints, how it sucked here, small towns are shit, that whole thing and I just smiled and let her go on and on. The following conversation and the best part of my day happened next:

    "Well, sounds like you've got all sorts of issues. You call somebody to pick you up?"
    "Yeah, they'll be here but than-*"
    "GOOD! Good. I love living here, you know, these shitty small towns, the smelly animals, the weather, all of it is home to me. I also love how I can tell if somebody isn't from here, because they're not arrogant, sanctimonious cocksuckers like you! They also don't step over old men who fall down in Wal-Mart and remark about how they're a 'dumbass' and keep on walking. You know, I can't wait for the weekend to be over so you and your kind get the FUCK out of my woods."

    I got in, slammed my door and sped off. I was angry, but it kind of felt good to tell her off but I did feel slightly bad for leaving her there.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Winner Winner x 88Friendly Friendly x 27Funny Funny x 1Zing Zing x 1 (list)

  12. Post #52
    $1 TITLE!
    Skellyhell's Avatar
    December 2007
    3,749 Posts
    I done a short stint in the horrible world of retail, and have one moderately funny story from my first week.
    I was at a UK frozen food store, around christmas time, just filling freezers with food. exciting stuff, a man comes up to me and asks where the turkey roasting joints are, so i walk him to the freezer, show him the turkey selection, and he puts 4 frozen turkey roasting joints in his basket, thanks me, then walks to the next aisle.
    I begin walking back to the store room to get more shit to freeze, and the supervisor somes out just doing a round, says to me "watch out, theres a shoplifter in the store"
    next thing i see is the guy i helped running out of the door with the supervisor chasing after him, shouted asnother worker to go with him incase anything happened, the shoploifter yelled "COME ON THEN" and ran at my supervisor who bolted back inside.
    The theif ran into the pug across the road and police arrived within minutes.

    2 riot vans and 3 cars were needed to deal with the man and his basket of turkey.


    I left shortly after that and got a cool job making legal drugs for 4x the wages i was being paid
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 70Winner Winner x 4 (list)

  13. Post #53
    Gold Member
    H4ngman's Avatar
    April 2007
    2,800 Posts
    Oh well, I have an office job. In Germany. Combine the two most boring things in the world and you get my job. My coworkers are half dead mid-50 zombieswho stare into screens with expressionless faces and the few words they speak are barely about anything other than business.
    We should really make a thread like this for office people. With stories about that one time when you spent the whole day staring at a screen, doing stuff you don't give two flying fucks about just to come home too exhausted to do much before you sleep and repeat.

    Seriously, another 3 years and I'll pull a Falling Down. Goddamn, I wanted to do something creative.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP Germany Show Events Agree Agree x 10Friendly Friendly x 5Informative Informative x 1Late Late x 1 (list)

  14. Post #54
    SK17a
    garychencool's Avatar
    October 2010
    13,915 Posts
    A Genuine Cents Of Change
    Coffee Shop | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Coffee Shop, Criminals

    (At this coffee shop, do not accept $100 bills because all $20 are automatically dropped into a safe and we cannot make adequate change. Its a particularly busy day with a rather long line, and a customer
    approaches.)

    Customer: I want a medium americano. *hands me $100 bill*

    Me: Im sorry, but I dont have enough change to accept that bill. Do you happen to have anything smaller?

    Customer: No, this is all I have. I dont have anything smaller.

    Me: Well then, today is your lucky day. Your drink is on me today!

    (Note: I am trying to get the line moving and were allowed to give an arbitrary number of free drinks away a day if we think itll make the customer happy.)

    Customer: No, just take the money, please. I dont want the free drink. Just get the change from the safe.

    Me: I cant do that, but your free drink will be up on the counter quickly.

    Customer: I dont want the free drink! *storms out without drink*

    (My manager, who had been eavesdropping on the entire exchange, approaches me after the customer leaves.)

    Manager: Well, that bill was obviously counterfeit. Good for you for not accepting it!

    Okay, from reading other posts, this is a really funny thread.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP Canada Show Events Winner Winner x 82Dumb Dumb x 4Funny Funny x 4Late Late x 3 (list)

  15. Post #55
    BigOwl's Avatar
    October 2010
    3,292 Posts
    Me: Pizza Shop, how can I help you?
    Her:(With the most annoying voice I had ever heard, I seriously thought I was being pranked at first) Yeaaaaah, I need to order a pizza.
    Me: Okay will that be for Pick up or delivery
    Her: Take out
    Me: Okay Pick up-
    Her: NO! I want it be delivered! Gosh!
    Me: Okay sorry, my mistake what would you like on that pie and what size?
    Her: Ummm, I want a Medium pie with uhhh
    Me: I'm sorry but we only serve small and large, the small being 12 inches and the large being 16 inches.
    Her: Oh...well how big is the small?
    Me: It's 12 inches, pretty comparable to your typical dominoes medium pie.
    Her:...Hold on lemme talk to my husband (This is a pain in the ass because whenever some asshole makes their dumb broad order she has to go back and ask him a million different questions when we don't have something they want specifically, and thus, keeping other people from making orders and slowing us down and for some reason only satan could know this only happens on really fucking busy days.)
    Her: Okay well take a large. The 12 inch.
    Me: Ma'am, (There's a vain bulging in my forehead at this point)The small pie is 12 inches and the large is 16.
    Her: Oh well I mean the 16 inch.
    Me: Okay what would you like on the pizza?
    Her: Oh shoot hold on lemme ask (This takes ANOTHER five minutes of me hearing them faintly arguing)
    Her: Okay I want...cheese...and sauce...but put the sauce under the cheese.
    Me: *facepalm* Yes, of course we put that on all of our pizza's unless otherwise specified.
    Her: Oh okay...that's kind of weird. Why would you put toppings on a pizza someone didn't ask for.
    My brain at this point explodes and I feel the relief of warm thick blood exiting my ear canals and drenching the phone in a crimson orgasm as I spend another 5 minutes explaining to her why the standard pizza consists of sauce, dough, and cheese. The jelly of my eyes have begun to boil at this point and the plastic casing of the phone would have been crushed in my anger grip by this point if my hands had not been lubricated from the now drying cherry delight.
    Her: Oh... okay well lemme just call back later then.
    I sat the phone down calmly, gazing at it's tiny LCD display showing how long the call took. Almost twenty minutes. I took a deep breath and sighed as my need to stay alive decreased a little more in that little moment and knowing there were probably people worse than this...It broke my heart to think of. Later the same woman called and I ended up having to explain to her why more slices doesn't equal more pizza. I began therapy that next Tuesday and promptly shot myself in my bathroom August 23rd 2009 at 4:23 in the afternoon. It was a sunny day.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 124Winner Winner x 10Artistic Artistic x 1 (list)

  16. Post #56
    Gold Member
    runtime's Avatar
    December 2005
    1,342 Posts
    I used to work at a high street clothes store in the UK which many of you might know as Matalan as a general sales assistant. At the time of me starting the job, I had just completed 6 months voluntary service in the Royal Air Force and on my application form I had specified I had military experience. Like that mattered to them hiring me but I digress.. This tale involves these:



    Anyway, managers knew of my experience with the Air Force and when the store got especially busy, I would be pulled from the till (cash register) and tasked to assist the security patrol with watching the store. Together we had to cover about a 270m square store, with potentially 200+ customers and four departments. Today was a busy day and I was pulled off tills to assist security, and I got a call on the radio that there were some known shoplifters operating on the retail park today. Sure enough they came into the store, and I shadowed a group of them whilst keeping my colleagues informed via the radio. I followed them for what must have been 5-6 minutes around the menswear section when I got a call on the radio to come to the front desk ASAP.

    Upon arriving there was a fellow being confronted by the security patrol and my managers, as he had been found trying to shoplift several items without paying for them. What was hilarious though, and what completely threw me, was what he had tried to steal.

    We had a "home" department, with things for the kitchen, bathroom and the like. We had a shelf with small rubber ducks of different sizes - some wooly "mitten" style ones, and a big duck-shaped container (the kind of thing you'd buy a family with newborns). The thief had thrown a couple of dozen rubber ducks into a big duck container, and tried to get past by just paying for the container at the checkout. An eagle eyed sales assistant noticed it was rather heavy, and yelled for security to investigate.

    He forever became known as the "Duck Thief".
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Winner Winner x 80Funny Funny x 13 (list)

  17. Post #57
    Gold Member
    Kurtzund's Avatar
    September 2006
    1,421 Posts
    I work at a Levi's outlet. Yesterday we had a crackhead shoplifter who simply took a stack of jeans and sprinted out of the store with them...

    According to company policy there's nothing we could have done.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Mac United States Show Events Funny Funny x 29Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  18. Post #58
    kill yourself
    Protocol7's Avatar
    June 2006
    26,085 Posts
    I work at a Levi's outlet. Yesterday we had a crackhead shoplifter who simply took a stack of jeans and sprinted out of the store with them...

    According to company policy there's nothing we could have done.
    They've got their own outlets? Interesting.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  19. Post #59
    Gold Member
    Sir Whoopsalot's Avatar
    August 2010
    23,081 Posts
    I worked at the dreaded People's Socialist Republic of Wal-Martistan, and it fucking sucked. I finally got fired for several things, one of which was reaming a customer a new asshole and I was entirely right for doing so. Never working retail again, I'm too much of an angry person for it.

    One particular day it was pretty much typical weather in Minnesota. Sunny one minute, downpour the next with a slight chance of biblical plague. I arrived at 9:45 AM, punched in at 10:00 AM and started my shift by "zoning" which really means making shit look pretty. I had heard the storm rolling in and being Minnesotan I knew in my sleep it was going to storm, but the out of state assholes apparently aren't gifted like we are. People came in, soggy and wet bitching the whole way while the locals were like "wow a bit rainy, don'tcha know?" Anyway, it was getting towards the middle of the day (4 PM) when the power (finally) went out and we had to start ushering people out of the store. Of course Wal-Marts are supposed to be open 24/7 and people are getting antsy and angry, while this one confused old man is sort of hobbling towards the exit. Well because of the water, he slips and falls then struggles to stand back up. Of course I wander over to him to go help, but not before this total bitch STEPS OVER HIM and says aloud "oh hahaha what a fucking dumbass" or something. I knew she at least called him a dumbass but holy SHIT I was pissed. I hurry closer and help the old guy up, he thanks me and finally I get to leave about fifteen minutes later. Still fuming about that whole mess, I got into my car and started the drive home. Of course the roads were awful but really nobody was in the ditch, but some people had pulled over. Used to driving in shit conditions, I just went onward until I saw this ridiculous foreign car in the ditch some ways and I stop to see if they're alright. GUESS WHO'S THE DRIVER! That's fucking right, the same broad who stepped over the old man and I step out to greet her. She opened up with a long list of complaints, how it sucked here, small towns are shit, that whole thing and I just smiled and let her go on and on. The following conversation and the best part of my day happened next:

    "Well, sounds like you've got all sorts of issues. You call somebody to pick you up?"
    "Yeah, they'll be here but than-*"
    "GOOD! Good. I love living here, you know, these shitty small towns, the smelly animals, the weather, all of it is home to me. I also love how I can tell if somebody isn't from here, because they're not arrogant, sanctimonious cocksuckers like you! They also don't step over old men who fall down in Wal-Mart and remark about how they're a 'dumbass' and keep on walking. You know, I can't wait for the weekend to be over so you and your kind get the FUCK out of my woods."

    I got in, slammed my door and sped off. I was angry, but it kind of felt good to tell her off but I did feel slightly bad for leaving her there.
    That may have been very wrong but words cannot describe how much she deserved that.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Netherlands Show Events Agree Agree x 54Winner Winner x 1 (list)

  20. Post #60
    Gold Member
    bobsmit's Avatar
    January 2007
    1,235 Posts
    If anyone in here works at a Subway, I work with the team developing new POS terminals, so if you have any recommendations or complaints about SubShop 2000, I'd be glad to take them.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 12 (list)

  21. Post #61
    Mort and Charon's Avatar
    April 2009
    1,928 Posts
    If anyone in here works at a Subway, I work with the team developing new POS terminals, so if you have any recommendations or complaints about SubShop 2000, I'd be glad to take them.
    Change the name. I mean SubShop2000 is incredibly lame, even for a POS terminal.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 15Agree Agree x 2 (list)

  22. Post #62
    Michael Bay Christus
    Chaotic Lord's Avatar
    October 2010
    7,895 Posts
    If anyone in here works at a Subway, I work with the team developing new POS terminals, so if you have any recommendations or complaints about SubShop 2000, I'd be glad to take them.
    free sammiches.


    My mom just told me about this lady in the store.
    She was taking the yogurt 4 packs, and snapping them in half into two, and then one (She only wanted one cup, instead of 4)

    "Excuse me, those are 4 packs, you have to buy all of them, you can't just take one, there are single cups over there if you want"

    "Oh, It's not a problem, I do this all the time!"

    "You're not supposed to, either take all of them or grab one of the single ones over there."

    "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll do that next time"

    The lady took 2 "Single" Cups of yogurt, but was charged for the price of a 4 pack for each cup, paying 4x more than she could have for 2 things of yogurt.

    The Customer Must Always "Win".
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Funny Funny x 56Winner Winner x 4 (list)

  23. Post #63
    Gold Member
    bobsmit's Avatar
    January 2007
    1,235 Posts
    Change the name. I mean SubShop2000 is incredibly lame, even for a POS terminal.
    It was made in the days when attaching "2000" to everything made it modern. The year 2000.

    The new POS system has a much more interesting name, it's called "NewPOS".

    free sammiches.
    We get free subway twice a week, this is how most new Subway products are tested.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 12 (list)

  24. Post #64
    Mort and Charon's Avatar
    April 2009
    1,928 Posts
    It was made in the days when attaching "2000" to everything made it modern. The year 2000.

    The new POS system has a much more interesting name, it's called "NewPOS".


    We get free subway twice a week, this is how most new Subway products are tested.
    NewPOS isn't much better. And Subway is the slowest "fast food" I've ever been to I swear it takes 20 minutes for them to make a simple sub sometimes .
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 5Agree Agree x 2Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  25. Post #65
    Michael Bay Christus
    Chaotic Lord's Avatar
    October 2010
    7,895 Posts
    We get free subway twice a week, this is how most new Subway products are tested.
    But you're an employee.

    I just want free food.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Funny Funny x 4Agree Agree x 2 (list)

  26. Post #66
    Gold Member
    Super_Nova's Avatar
    November 2006
    1,275 Posts
    http://www.customerssuck.com/board/

    To anyone who likes to read these kind of things, heres a whole forum for it.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista United States Show Events Useful Useful x 2Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  27. Post #67
    Gold Member
    carcarcargo's Avatar
    October 2007
    15,286 Posts
    If I got into this kind of work I'd probably get fired for swearing at a dumb customer.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Agree Agree x 45 (list)

  28. Post #68
    Connoisseur of Maple Syrup, Guns, and Sex Toys
    Dennab
    August 2008
    5,053 Posts
    I worked at the dreaded People's Socialist Republic of Wal-Martistan, and it fucking sucked. I finally got fired for several things, one of which was reaming a customer a new asshole and I was entirely right for doing so. Never working retail again, I'm too much of an angry person for it.

    One particular day it was pretty much typical weather in Minnesota. Sunny one minute, downpour the next with a slight chance of biblical plague. I arrived at 9:45 AM, punched in at 10:00 AM and started my shift by "zoning" which really means making shit look pretty. I had heard the storm rolling in and being Minnesotan I knew in my sleep it was going to storm, but the out of state assholes apparently aren't gifted like we are. People came in, soggy and wet bitching the whole way while the locals were like "wow a bit rainy, don'tcha know?" Anyway, it was getting towards the middle of the day (4 PM) when the power (finally) went out and we had to start ushering people out of the store. Of course Wal-Marts are supposed to be open 24/7 and people are getting antsy and angry, while this one confused old man is sort of hobbling towards the exit. Well because of the water, he slips and falls then struggles to stand back up. Of course I wander over to him to go help, but not before this total bitch STEPS OVER HIM and says aloud "oh hahaha what a fucking dumbass" or something. I knew she at least called him a dumbass but holy SHIT I was pissed. I hurry closer and help the old guy up, he thanks me and finally I get to leave about fifteen minutes later. Still fuming about that whole mess, I got into my car and started the drive home. Of course the roads were awful but really nobody was in the ditch, but some people had pulled over. Used to driving in shit conditions, I just went onward until I saw this ridiculous foreign car in the ditch some ways and I stop to see if they're alright. GUESS WHO'S THE DRIVER! That's fucking right, the same broad who stepped over the old man and I step out to greet her. She opened up with a long list of complaints, how it sucked here, small towns are shit, that whole thing and I just smiled and let her go on and on. The following conversation and the best part of my day happened next:

    "Well, sounds like you've got all sorts of issues. You call somebody to pick you up?"
    "Yeah, they'll be here but than-*"
    "GOOD! Good. I love living here, you know, these shitty small towns, the smelly animals, the weather, all of it is home to me. I also love how I can tell if somebody isn't from here, because they're not arrogant, sanctimonious cocksuckers like you! They also don't step over old men who fall down in Wal-Mart and remark about how they're a 'dumbass' and keep on walking. You know, I can't wait for the weekend to be over so you and your kind get the FUCK out of my woods."

    I got in, slammed my door and sped off. I was angry, but it kind of felt good to tell her off but I did feel slightly bad for leaving her there.
    Don't feel bad for leaving her there. She didn't feel bad about leaving the old man there.

    Edited:

    A Genuine Cents Of Change
    Coffee Shop | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Coffee Shop, Criminals

    (At this coffee shop, do not accept $100 bills because all $20 are automatically dropped into a safe and we cannot make adequate change. Its a particularly busy day with a rather long line, and a customer
    approaches.)

    Customer: I want a medium americano. *hands me $100 bill*

    Me: Im sorry, but I dont have enough change to accept that bill. Do you happen to have anything smaller?

    Customer: No, this is all I have. I dont have anything smaller.

    Me: Well then, today is your lucky day. Your drink is on me today!

    (Note: I am trying to get the line moving and were allowed to give an arbitrary number of free drinks away a day if we think itll make the customer happy.)

    Customer: No, just take the money, please. I dont want the free drink. Just get the change from the safe.

    Me: I cant do that, but your free drink will be up on the counter quickly.

    Customer: I dont want the free drink! *storms out without drink*

    (My manager, who had been eavesdropping on the entire exchange, approaches me after the customer leaves.)

    Manager: Well, that bill was obviously counterfeit. Good for you for not accepting it!

    Okay, from reading other posts, this is a really funny thread.
    Why the fuck would you not want a free drink
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 35Dumb Dumb x 4 (list)

  29. Post #69
    Sorry about the downtime, now buy shit.
    CrispexOps's Avatar
    February 2010
    1,588 Posts
    The best ones, are people who think that you are magically sitting on stockpiles of items in the back room.
    Let me assure you, in a grocery store, you try to keep the lowest amount of back-stock. There is not always, "more in the back."
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 10 (list)

  30. Post #70
    SK17a
    garychencool's Avatar
    October 2010
    13,915 Posts
    This is probably the funniest thread this month.

    anyways, you know when you need to take a number when it came to stores, clinics and hosipitals? Well this dumb bitch went to this blood clinic that I volunteered at. It was Saturday morning and. She came raging to the desk as she was pissed of that she didn't get service after waiting since 8a.m. And that people came and go as she waited outside of the clinic since it was packed. She was complaining on how everyone got in front of her. She kept on raging on how she's busy and some stupid shit I didnt care to listen about.

    this is when it makes her fully the dumbass. I asked her if she had a number ticket which everyone else had, she said that she though she didn't need a fucking ticket. I told her that there was a huge ass sign saying, 'please take a number and a seat" on the desk, all around the clinic and two at the door in large black and red font. Then she demanded to get serivce right away because she didn't know that you needed a number. I pointed out the several large signs that not enough people read.

    She kept on yelling at me specifically and I just wanted to explode on her about how much of a dumbass she was but I wouldn't get my hours. So this arguement with this bitch lasted for a good five minutes before the doctor (and my supervisor) explained to her what she needs to do in a louder tone than mine. Then she finally pissed off saying the last thing to me, "you fucking asian cunt ass fucker, go back to fucking china and go fuck yourself you retarded cunt!! No one wants yof here!! get a life!! all of you teenagers are such dumb fucks!!!!!!" while sticking her middle finger at me.

    After she left, my supervisor asked if I was okay, after looking back at him, I broke into laughter followed by probably everyone in the clinic. I wonder if anyone recorded it on their cell phone or something. The clinic doesn't have cameras. At lunch, my supervisor treated me to lunch and talked about that silly, retarded bitch.

    there were probably five or so patients that raged when they didn't get service because they didn't get a number in the summer time when I worked. Man, it was funny but this one was the funniest.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Canada Show Events Funny Funny x 41Winner Winner x 3Friendly Friendly x 1 (list)

  31. Post #71
    Connoisseur of Maple Syrup, Guns, and Sex Toys
    Dennab
    August 2008
    5,053 Posts
    If anyone in here works at a Subway, I work with the team developing new POS terminals, so if you have any recommendations or complaints about SubShop 2000, I'd be glad to take them.
    Do you do the Radioshack POS systems too?

    Please fucking christ make the 'Fetch On Hand Count' take less than five minutes per item.

    Edited:

    The best ones, are people who think that you are magically sitting on stockpiles of items in the back room.
    Let me assure you, in a grocery store, you try to keep the lowest amount of back-stock. There is not always, "more in the back."
    I love it when customers ask me to check the back room after I've just done an inventory count on the register.

    I mean come on. If the computer says we have 0, we have 0. No I will not go to the back room to look. I'm there 80% of the day. I know exactly what's in there. No, what you want is not.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 2 (list)

  32. Post #72
    cdr248's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,677 Posts
    You're working wage jobs because you have no game and no hustle. Therefore, someone gets to decide how much your time is worth.
    Or maybe because they are a minor and can only get minimum wage jobs.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Agree Agree x 8 (list)

  33. Post #73
    Connoisseur of Maple Syrup, Guns, and Sex Toys
    Dennab
    August 2008
    5,053 Posts
    Or because the economy is fucked and that's all there is.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 20 (list)

  34. Post #74
    Michael Bay Christus
    Chaotic Lord's Avatar
    October 2010
    7,895 Posts
    I love it when customers ask me to check the back room after I've just done an inventory count on the register.

    I mean come on. If the computer says we have 0, we have 0. No I will not go to the back room to look. I'm there 80% of the day. I know exactly what's in there. No, what you want is not.
    I'd be the guy who goes to "check" anyways, just to make the customer happy.

    And by check I mean walk into the back room, grab a soda or something, drink it, then come back out and say there are none.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Funny Funny x 39Agree Agree x 7Zing Zing x 1 (list)

  35. Post #75
    Sorry about the downtime, now buy shit.
    CrispexOps's Avatar
    February 2010
    1,588 Posts
    I never "check." I go back to the back room, grab a drink, and that's it. I don't even look at the stock we have in the back.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 30Dumb Dumb x 2Agree Agree x 1Late Late x 1 (list)

  36. Post #76
    Michael Bay Christus
    Chaotic Lord's Avatar
    October 2010
    7,895 Posts
    That's exactly what I just said
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Agree Agree x 13Funny Funny x 4 (list)

  37. Post #77
    Connoisseur of Maple Syrup, Guns, and Sex Toys
    Dennab
    August 2008
    5,053 Posts
    Damn straight.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events

  38. Post #78
    Sorry about the downtime, now buy shit.
    CrispexOps's Avatar
    February 2010
    1,588 Posts
    That's exactly what I just said
    Heh, I didn't realize that. I browse the forums in-between game rounds, so I never quite know who just posted. Too right though, too right.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events

  39. Post #79
    Fabulous Vailglorous Extraordinaire
    Haxxer's Avatar
    February 2007
    10,709 Posts
    "Just because they serve you, doesn't mean they like you. And just because they smile and act polite doesn't mean they aren't planning to destroy you."
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Mac Sweden Show Events Winner Winner x 28Agree Agree x 6Funny Funny x 2 (list)

  40. Post #80
    Michael Bay Christus
    Chaotic Lord's Avatar
    October 2010
    7,895 Posts
    Heh, I didn't realize that. I browse the forums in-between game rounds, so I never quite know who just posted. Too right though, too right.
    Glad I'm not the only one who would do that.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Funny Funny x 1 (list)