1. Post #1
    Dennab
    April 2010
    5,256 Posts
    Since we seem to have a influx of legit skinny fuckers who can't seem to gain a pound, I'm going to show you how you need to be eating from now on.

    Note, we need to establish before hand that you are in fact a legit hard-gainer with a racehorse metabolism, and not just a little bitch who can't eat to save his skinny ass life. The fact is many "hardgainers" are actually the latter and are just too retarded to acknowledge it.

    So, assuming you are in fact legit hardgainer, here is the solution to your somalia esque problems:

    Start adopting these principles:
    1. "If I'm not chewing I'm not growing"
    2. Cut out or at least limit the amount of steady state cardio you do (i.e gay shit like jogging/long distance running)
    3. GET A FUCKING DECENT PREMADE WORKOUT ROUTINE THAT INVOLVES HEAVY WEIGHT TRAINING MADE BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T SMOKE DICKS FOR A LIVING - No you cannot get big off your stupid fucking pushup program.

    Now onto the most important part of the equation - Eating. Here is a perfect example from Dr. John Berardi, who was also once a legit hardgainer, of how he fixed his own skinny bastard problem. This might give you an idea of how much you may need to eat to facilitate decent lean tissue growth:

    Dr. John Berardi (PhD, CSCS) posted:
    In fact, how about an example? Being a very scrawny bastard, here's the crazy diet I followed to go from 140 to 210:

    Breakfast 8AM: 6 whole eggs, 4 slices of whole grain bread, and 4 packets of instant oatmeal

    Lunch 12PM: 1 pound extra lean ground beef, 1-cup cauliflower, and 2 large baked potatoes

    Evening Meal 4PM: 1 pound of extra lean ground beef, 1-cup broccoli, and 2 large baked potatoes

    Post-workout 8PM: 0.75lb of pasta (weighed before cooking), 1-cup green beans, and 0.75lb extra lean ground chicken

    Before Bed: 6 whole eggs, 4 slices of whole grain bread

    Also, upon waking each morning I'd mix up a one-gallon jug of water and somewhere between five and ten scoops of whey protein. In addition, I'd open a bag of six cinnamon raisin bagels and put peanut butter in between each bagel. The protein drink and the bagels were to be consumed all day long when an actual meal wasn't being eaten.

    Again, the motto was, "If I'm not chewing, I'm not growing." I'm not lying when I say that as soon as I'd finish each meal, I'd start right away with my protein shake and bagels and continue on them until the next meal. Even if I was in class, even at work, even when I felt like I couldn't stomach another morsel. Wherever, whenever, I ate.
    Even armed with what he knows from that expensive education, Berardi still says the only thing he'd do differently is add bit more fruit it and supplement vitamins.

    So until you are at least attempting that sort of caloric intake on top of a solid workout plan, you should not deviate.

    Other things to remember:
    1. Calorie counting is for fat people and people who don't want to gain weight. You have no business doing this.
    2. You are severely underweight, do not be scared of a little fat gain (if you get any), you will probably be bloated like fuck with the amount you are eating and confuse it for fat gain. Don't.
    3. You have no business trying to do dumb shit like cutting or doing body recomp cycles
    4.    Women are whores they tear your fucking heart out, pump and dump baby pump and dump   

    Edited:

    Nooo the spoiler tags donut work whyyy

    now they do HAaa
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Australia Show Events Dumb Dumb x 7Agree Agree x 5Informative Informative x 1Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  2. Post #2
    Gold Member
    Jmir 54's Avatar
    October 2008
    4,347 Posts
    Gonna make yall skinny dudes into mean lean fighting machines
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United States Show Events Funny Funny x 8Friendly Friendly x 1 (list)

  3. Post #3
    caaaasus's Avatar
    April 2011
    567 Posts
    or you know you could eat what your body needs to foster optimal muscle growth and not much over ( noones diet is perfect all the time) and not gain much fat

  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    ScoutKing's Avatar
    May 2007
    6,394 Posts
    I am just going with eat as much as possible but focus on things that are high in protein in large quantities.
    like a shit load of fish, with a side of 2-4 glasses of milk as a meal.

    I await to hear caaasus to shoot that diet down in his reply.

  5. Post #5
    Dennab
    April 2010
    5,256 Posts
    I am just going with eat as much as possible but focus on things that are high in protein in large quantities.
    like a shit load of fish, with a side of 2-4 glasses of milk as a meal.

    I await to hear caaasus to shoot that diet down in his reply.
    casus cant shoot down shit becuz he is not legit hardgainer

    he is ffb

    Edited:

    I am just going with eat as much as possible but focus on things that are high in protein in large quantities.
    like a shit load of fish, with a side of 2-4 glasses of milk as a meal.

    I await to hear caaasus to shoot that diet down in his reply.
    Protein is important to muscular growth, but not as important as overall caloric surplus and ------- CARBS

    Carbs are the fucking key to growth believe me. Trying to gain weight on low carbs is like grinding your dick against a cheese grater not that ive tried dick vs cheese grater

  6. Post #6
    BigOwl's Avatar
    October 2010
    3,292 Posts
    or you know you could eat what your body needs to foster optimal muscle growth and not much over ( noones diet is perfect all the time) and not gain much fat
    What part of working out did you miss in that?

  7. Post #7
    Bellminator's Avatar
    May 2010
    178 Posts
    I'm taking weight training in august or so but I'm not up for trying to gain weight. I'm a "skinny ass bitch" and my dad is huge, so I'm going to take a guess that my fast metabolism will cut off soon enough.

  8. Post #8
    Blackfilm's Avatar
    August 2010
    767 Posts
    I need to get with it and just start eating everything I can find, gaining weight the way I've been going is literally impossible. I don't know how I get by with 2 meals a day on average. My wrists are a sorry 5 and a half inches around, seriously.

  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    ScoutKing's Avatar
    May 2007
    6,394 Posts
    casus cant shoot down shit becuz he is not legit hardgainer

    he is ffb

    Edited:



    Protein is important to muscular growth, but not as important as overall caloric surplus and ------- CARBS

    Carbs are the fucking key to growth believe me. Trying to gain weight on low carbs is like grinding your dick against a cheese grater not that ive tried dick vs cheese grater
    The food i eat that has high amounts of protein is accompanied by foods with high carbs to.
    Ive gained 3 pounds in the last week on my diet.
    A hole lotta milk and meats/fish following a weak work out.
    but hell, its progress.

  10. Post #10
    caaaasus's Avatar
    April 2011
    567 Posts
    I am just going with eat as much as possible but focus on things that are high in protein in large quantities.
    like a shit load of fish, with a side of 2-4 glasses of milk as a meal.

    I await to hear caaasus to shoot that diet down in his reply.
    because i would shoot down a meal with alot of protein and carbs. n1 idiot

    Edited:

    What part of working out did you miss in that?
    because working out totally makes it so you dont gain fat. again n1 idiot

    Edited:

    The food i eat that has high amounts of protein is accompanied by foods with high carbs to.
    Ive gained 3 pounds in the last week on my diet.
    A hole lotta milk and meats/fish following a weak work out.
    but hell, its progress.
    also incase you havent noticed in the general advice i give carbs are usually higher than protein for bulking

  11. Post #11
    ♩♪♫♬
    Rooster Assassin's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,453 Posts
    As I said in the a previous thread, 16, 5'10 and 115 pounds. I may take pictures when I start, sometime before summer starts. I want to gain enough pounds to not look like a god damn twig at least (I have womanly CURVES on my torso because I am so skinny).

    I'm not sure I can keep up with eating so much though, last time I tried his I got to the point I was nearly puking every day.. will that feeling go away eventually?

  12. Post #12
    Dennab
    April 2010
    5,256 Posts
    Yes, like most things in life, eventually you will adapt a.k.a stop being a pussy



    then you will CONQUER
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Australia Show Events Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  13. Post #13
    caaaasus's Avatar
    April 2011
    567 Posts
    As I said in the a previous thread, 16, 5'10 and 115 pounds. I may take pictures when I start, sometime before summer starts. I want to gain enough pounds to not look like a god damn twig at least (I have womanly CURVES on my torso because I am so skinny).

    I'm not sure I can keep up with eating so much though, last time I tried his I got to the point I was nearly puking every day.. will that feeling go away eventually?
    try eating more calorie dense things instead of lots of things in general

  14. Post #14
    ♩♪♫♬
    Rooster Assassin's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,453 Posts
    Yes, like most things in life, eventually you will adapt a.k.a stop being a pussy



    then you will CONQUER
    Ok
    until then I'll hold in my food, holy shit it wants to come back up.

  15. Post #15
    BELIEBER
    Dennab
    September 2008
    2,546 Posts
    As I said in the a previous thread, 16, 5'10 and 115 pounds. I may take pictures when I start, sometime before summer starts. I want to gain enough pounds to not look like a god damn twig at least (I have womanly CURVES on my torso because I am so skinny).

    I'm not sure I can keep up with eating so much though, last time I tried his I got to the point I was nearly puking every day.. will that feeling go away eventually?
    Exact same stats as you, except I'm 145 pounds. You'll get there, just workout hard sleep lots and eat to grow.

  16. Post #16
    FalcoLombardi's Avatar
    December 2009
    8,340 Posts
    McDonald's

  17. Post #17
    BELIEBER
    Dennab
    September 2008
    2,546 Posts
    Bada ba ba ba, I'm loving it. Speaking of McDicks, after the gym I grabbed a Bigmac Meal, No Cheese, Rootbeer, Medium Fries and a Crispy Thai McMini. The Crispy Thai McMini wasn't on there.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Canada Show Events Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  18. Post #18
    Gold Member
    Maucer's Avatar
    August 2007
    2,309 Posts
    No cheese? :confused:

  19. Post #19
    BELIEBER
    Dennab
    September 2008
    2,546 Posts
    I think cheese is disgusting.. Processed cheese anyways. I can handle cheese on a pizza and kraft dinner.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Canada Show Events Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  20. Post #20
    Gold Member
    sp00ks's Avatar
    January 2008
    12,039 Posts
    Processed cheese?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Denmark Show Events Funny Funny x 2 (list)

  21. Post #21
    BELIEBER
    Dennab
    September 2008
    2,546 Posts
    Yeah the little square pieces you buy that is wrapped in that peel-able plastic.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Canada Show Events Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    sp00ks's Avatar
    January 2008
    12,039 Posts
    How is that processed when the cheese you put on pizza isn't?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Denmark Show Events Agree Agree x 2 (list)

  23. Post #23
    BELIEBER
    Dennab
    September 2008
    2,546 Posts
    iuno im weird when it comes to cheese man, i hate yellow cheese unless it's in KD, then I don't mind it.

  24. Post #24
    Gold Member
    sp00ks's Avatar
    January 2008
    12,039 Posts
    so it's not really the taste but the idea of cheese you don't like
    i don't understand why so many people don't like cheese, not because of the taste but because they just don't like cheese.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Denmark Show Events Agree Agree x 3 (list)

  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    smfE's Avatar
    April 2005
    2,811 Posts
    I really wonder if this would help me gain as i defintely have a so called racehorse metabolism and can practically eat anything without gaining. I'm 177cm and only 58 kilos. I'd love to actually see me gain something and experience getting bigger lol.

  26. Post #26
    BELIEBER
    Dennab
    September 2008
    2,546 Posts
    so it's not really the taste but the idea of cheese you don't like
    i don't understand why so many people don't like cheese, not because of the taste but because they just don't like cheese.
    no it's the taste.. i absolutely hate the taste of it on mcdonalds burgers, it tastes alright on other things, but most of the time the smell/taste makes me gag.

  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    sp00ks's Avatar
    January 2008
    12,039 Posts
    I can't even taste it on mcd burgers.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Denmark Show Events Agree Agree x 5 (list)

  28. Post #28
    BELIEBER
    Dennab
    September 2008
    2,546 Posts
    Really? It's the most noticeable taste for me.

  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    sp00ks's Avatar
    January 2008
    12,039 Posts
    I think you're just making that up because you've convinced yourself you don't like cheese tbh.
    Or maybe your McD makes some weird burgers.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Denmark Show Events Agree Agree x 2 (list)

  30. Post #30
    BELIEBER
    Dennab
    September 2008
    2,546 Posts
    So you're saying maybe I'm tricking my mind? Could be. But I really do notice a difference between a bigmac with cheese and a bigmac without cheese.

  31. Post #31
    Septimas's Avatar
    July 2007
    1,879 Posts
    To be honest all you need to do is eat more, add in a few meals of peanut butter sandwiches through-ought the day, and add a protein gainer shake into each meal.

  32. Post #32
    Dennab
    April 2010
    5,256 Posts
    To be honest all you need to do is eat more, add in a few meals of peanut butter sandwiches through-ought the day, and add a protein gainer shake into each meal.
    Get the fuck out of my thread thanks.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Australia Show Events Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  33. Post #33
    caaaasus's Avatar
    April 2011
    567 Posts
    To be honest all you need to do is eat more, add in a few meals of peanut butter sandwiches through-ought the day, and add a protein gainer shake into each meal.
    aha protein gainer oh god

  34. Post #34
    He77Nova's Avatar
    April 2011
    346 Posts
    great thread, seeing as most of the stuff they sell nowadays is low fat shit lol
    btw thats a lot of eggs, can i exchange 2 during breakfast for bacon?:D

  35. Post #35
    caaaasus's Avatar
    April 2011
    567 Posts
    great thread, seeing as most of the stuff they sell nowadays is low fat shit lol
    btw thats a lot of eggs, can i exchange 2 during breakfast for bacon?:D
    fyi dont follow that guys bulking diet make your own

  36. Post #36
    Dennab
    April 2010
    5,256 Posts
    fyi casus smokes dicks





















    but yeah you dont have to follow that but it gives you an idea of the kind of intake you need if you are legit hardgainer

  37. Post #37
    caaaasus's Avatar
    April 2011
    567 Posts
    y u no on xfire??

  38. Post #38
    ♩♪♫♬
    Rooster Assassin's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,453 Posts
    I won't be able to get a gym membership until summer, so is there anything I can do that might help at home exercise wise? I'm aware i'm not going to do much without a gym, but until then, might as well try.

  39. Post #39
    caaaasus's Avatar
    April 2011
    567 Posts
    I won't be able to get a gym membership until summer, so is there anything I can do that might help at home exercise wise? I'm aware i'm not going to do much without a gym, but until then, might as well try.
    arey ou fat?

  40. Post #40
    ♩♪♫♬
    Rooster Assassin's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,453 Posts
    no?

    Edited:

    meant any strength training you can do at home, even if it sucks