1. Post #1
    Dr. Fishtastic's Avatar
    February 2010
    7,917 Posts
    No one abhors flies as much as I do. For years these creatures have tormented me as I ate, read, anything. Today, 5 motherfucking flies managed to sneak in because my little brother forgot to shut the garage door. I decided to the take the battle to these motherfucking vuvuzela incarnates by luring them into the laundry room since it has a blindingly bright fluorescent light. There, I shut all doors and for the next 10 minutes spasmed around like a hobo on his final crack fix as I sucked in these fat buzzing bastards off the walls as they sat there gleaming, mocking me. Hell, I was so fucking determined, I managed to capture 3 of em out of the air. All in all, a successful conquest.

    in the dirt and rubble, I found 2 of them inside. one of them was alive, and tried to get up, but the amount of dust covering him ensured his lack of success.


    The one on the left is alive

    Video coming soon
    EDIT:

    Here's the video, you can see teh one on the left is alive

    Audio swapped because of crappy sound

    Fuck, I should be some sort secret ops agent or some shit
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  2. Post #2
    Gold Member
    jaybuz's Avatar
    May 2006
    5,516 Posts
    Murderer!
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  3. Post #3
    M4 Sherman's Avatar
    April 2010
    518 Posts
    Those flies are in the vacuum cleaner.
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  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    RichyZ's Avatar
    September 2007
    16,324 Posts
    Those flies are in the vacuum cleaner.
    hahaha informative

    whoring yourself out is fun
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  5. Post #5
    flarrm's Avatar
    August 2009
    436 Posts
    Those flies are in the vacuum cleaner.
    Rated informative.

    Edited:
    Dammit, ninja'd.
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  6. Post #6
    Ask about my EBOLA fetish
    GameDev's Avatar
    February 2010
    12,416 Posts
    Those flies are in the vacuum cleaner.
    PHD in animal science for you
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  7. Post #7
    A self proclaimed lyrically philosophical physicist
    Pirate Jok3r's Avatar
    October 2008
    1,436 Posts
    OP how could you? Those flies had souls, and you took their little fly souls and crushed them. Crushed them with the powers of a thousand tornadoes.
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  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Hypernova's Avatar
    February 2008
    1,493 Posts
    This thread changed my life OP deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.
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  9. Post #9
    Dr. Fishtastic's Avatar
    February 2010
    7,917 Posts
    OP how could you? Those flies had souls, and you took their little fly souls and crushed them. Crushed them with the powers of a thousand tornadoes.
    Their delicious, tasty souls! Oh yes!
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  10. Post #10
    Ligger Nyncher
    Tacooo's Avatar
    August 2009
    7,129 Posts
    Well isn't that fucking amazing?

  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    teslath's Avatar
    June 2009
    1,279 Posts
    Not the same kind of fly, but meh.

    http://features.peta.org/crueltydoes...whattoknow.asp

  12. Post #12
    goatse
    Craptasket's Avatar
    January 2006
    32,638 Posts
    is it sneezing?

  13. Post #13
    itsDivine's Avatar
    July 2010
    1,641 Posts
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  14. Post #14
    LiveGrenade's Avatar
    December 2008
    347 Posts
    Looking at those flies trapped in all of your dirty trash makes me feel depressed.

  15. Post #15
    snaggles's Avatar
    March 2010
    115 Posts
    It may just be the picture, but those are some big fucking flies.
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  16. Post #16
    Caragolpe
    Guest
    They are fucking huge.

  17. Post #17
    Ancubius's Avatar
    February 2010
    232 Posts
    That fly is a spy!

  18. Post #18
    Hello, my name is Penis. Please refer to me as such. I'm totally cool with it.
    SPESSMEHREN's Avatar
    November 2009
    4,734 Posts
    I wonder how long it is before someone comments on the flies' political affiliation... :ninja:

  19. Post #19
    T.F.W.O.'s Avatar
    April 2010
    7,676 Posts
    That sucks.

  20. Post #20
    Xylem's Avatar
    January 2010
    2,309 Posts
    I only see two.
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  21. Post #21
    DaveOfDefeat's Avatar
    April 2009
    1,017 Posts
    Flies and gnats contain the trapped souls of deceased serial killers, rapists, and the occasional Hitler or Sadam Hussein.

    Hell is not living for eternity in an infinitely huge firey cavern of hate pain and sadness...

    Hell is coming back to your consciousness noticing that you see 8 million of the same picture(that picture being the steaming pile of hot canine diarrhea you were born in), are hardwired to eat shit, and have two fates: die in a short while by natural cause, or have some random giant ass inanimate object thrown at you just because you exist.
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  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    MagicBurrito's Avatar
    September 2008
    4,422 Posts
    I keep reading "files"

    fuck you dylsexia

  23. Post #23
    DaveOfDefeat's Avatar
    April 2009
    1,017 Posts
    I keep reading "files"

    fuck you dylsexia
    Are you really lysdexic or are you just benig silly?
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  24. Post #24
    shatteredwindow's Avatar
    March 2010
    7,901 Posts
    YES! Kill the little shits.

  25. Post #25
    Dbuhos's Avatar
    January 2010
    2,269 Posts
    Red-eyed mutant flies.


  26. Post #26
    EvilZx's Avatar
    July 2009
    551 Posts
    Hate those things. Good job, OP.

  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Bird's Avatar
    August 2010
    991 Posts
    Poor flies....

  28. Post #28
    Gold Member
    papaya's Avatar
    June 2010
    6,820 Posts
    Well sucks to be them.

  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    Kert97's Avatar
    August 2008
    1,001 Posts
    So? I always kill wasps like that.

  30. Post #30
    Facepunch Resident Alcoholic!
    sphinxa279's Avatar
    July 2007
    7,863 Posts
    Nice work OP, have a cookie :3:

  31. Post #31
    BuG
    BuG's Avatar
    December 2009
    220 Posts
    :fuckyou:

  32. Post #32
    Gold Member
    robowurmz's Avatar
    April 2007
    2,245 Posts
    Strap a portable vacuum to your back, find three other people who detest flies just as much as you do, and then start an agency for fly-and-other-flying-insect removal: Flybusters.

  33. Post #33
    Gold Member
    Mryamanami's Avatar
    July 2008
    1,734 Posts
    i find this picture artistic but i dont know why

  34. Post #34
    Gold Member
    chamon's Avatar
    July 2008
    2,356 Posts
    Wait, how can you even do that, you must vacuum like a crazy person

  35. Post #35
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    May 2009
    3,379 Posts
    I keep reading "files"

    fuck you dylsexia
    Same thing.

  36. Post #36
    pikzen's Avatar
    June 2010
    1,402 Posts
    wow that's so wonderful i'm so happy for you dude
    GD at its best.

  37. Post #37
    Assburgers's Avatar
    July 2009
    1,737 Posts
    They sent distress signals. You're probably going to die now.

  38. Post #38
    Gold Member
    R3mix's Avatar
    February 2006
    1,314 Posts
    Job well done.

  39. Post #39
    Mogadishu's Avatar
    August 2010
    140 Posts
    Nice Job. Oh your vaccum looks like it needs to be emptied.

  40. Post #40
    JoeyZ's Avatar
    June 2010
    3,463 Posts
    PETA's gonna be on your ass

    I suggest skipping town and starting a new life