1. Post #1
    Resident Beat Eater.
    wauterboi's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,973 Posts
    So I PM'd daijitsu and asked about the possibility of a critique thread. This is because in the Creative Music in Progress thread, people have asked for critique only to get none. I've been on both sides of the spectrum, but I and others have tried to provide critique in a way that isn't exactly required nor part of the norm, and there's a good amount of people who don't want a requirement in that thread. daijitsu told me to get it a shot, so without further adieu:



    RULES FOR POSTING:

    1. All new posts containing your own work must have one critique.

    The only exception for this is if the other posts have music from a genre you wouldn't be able to comfortably critique, which is totally fine. Just post that you wouldn't be qualified.

    On the flipside, if you're doing EDM you should critique others' EDM.

    2. Critique constructively.

    There is a fine line between "constructive" and "reported for flaming".

    3. Take this thread seriously.

    If you aren't willing to critique others with honest effort then you should stay away from this thread. This is for the improvement of the Musicians' Corner community, and posters need to contribute.

    RECOMMENDATIONS FOR POSTING:

    - You should give people an idea of what to critique when posting your own work.
    - You should utilize the [media] and [video] tags if you're linking to SoundCloud or YouTube, respectively.
    - You should critique others to the fullest of your abilities. (Note that it doesn't necessarily have to be based on what they're asking for.)

    I'll let someone post the first work.
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  2. Post #2
    Resident Beat Eater.
    wauterboi's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,973 Posts
    This guy does a great post on how to give and request critique:

    Okay guys, I noticed there's not a whole lot of CC in this thread (and I know this post of guilty of it), so I decided to write up a shitty guide to giving (and requesting) CC.

    Giving CC
    Write something specific, don't simply say, "This track is boring." What makes it boring? This is different than writing a specific solution, though, which, unless asked for, should not be given. Music is an art and it's genesis is in the creator's mind. Saying to add some violins to the beginning or to create a synth that sounds like X Y Z without giving any reasons is not good advice because it's what you'd do, not what they'd do. Give people some ideas to think about, but leave those ideas open ended. The best way to learn in composition is to solve your musical problems yourself.

    Also, be mindful of the genre that particular person is writing in. I'm going to give very different advice to someone looking to write film music than contemporary classical, and I won't touch electronic (unless someone asks a question I can aid in, like something theory related), as I don't know much about it at all!

    Requesting CC
    I see a lot of posts that only contain an in-progress track. Other times, there'll just be a track with text asking, "Thoughts?" While the latter is okay, the former doesn't let us know you want any feedback at all. You may not, and that's fine, but in any case try to be courteous and give feedback to others.
    I totally meant for this to be an edit. :(
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  3. Post #3
    Kobi~'s Avatar
    December 2012
    147 Posts
    i want the sauce on your icon first off.
    secondly this is posted in the other thread but no shits where given that day.



    http://flparx.bandcamp.com/track/tha...r-reminding-me
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  4. Post #4
    Resident Beat Eater.
    wauterboi's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,973 Posts
    I'm listening to it right now and at first I thought it was a very IDM-laid back track, but the further I listened the more I heard an overall development. For this reason, I think it would be your best interest to cut down the early sections of the song.

    -snipped this part because the post below is more correct that I am-

    Overall, however, I think the song is creative and pleasing to the ear. It's a nice little happy song with all the glittery happy IDM craziness going on, and it comes together very well.

  5. Post #5
    cheeseballxm's Avatar
    December 2010
    154 Posts
    This is really nice. I like the development; don't cut it short or anything. Variation would be good though, particularly in the first melody. It doesn't have to be big, maybe change the rhythm of it or how many times it 'bounces'.
    As far as the sounds go, the synth at 3 mins could use some effects, maybe reverb and high/band pass filter, or maybe a guitar amp effect. The percussive warbly thing is cool, but might be better if you slowed them down so it hits fewer times, letting the warble come out more.

    https://soundcloud.com/faero/porch-light/
    (i'm using but it's not working for me)

    I'm worried that I repeat the main melody too many times. While I do variations, I don't introduce much in the way of new melodies, except for those overtop. Am I being too hard on myself?
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  6. Post #6
    I Got That Swollen Hand Blues
    Eyefunk's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,525 Posts
    This is really nice. I like the development; don't cut it short or anything. Variation would be good though, particularly in the first melody. It doesn't have to be big, maybe change the rhythm of it or how many times it 'bounces'.
    As far as the sounds go, the synth at 3 mins could use some effects, maybe reverb and high/band pass filter, or maybe a guitar amp effect. The percussive warbly thing is cool, but might be better if you slowed them down so it hits fewer times, letting the warble come out more.

    https://soundcloud.com/faero/porch-light/
    (i'm using but it's not working for me)

    I'm worried that I repeat the main melody too many times. While I do variations, I don't introduce much in the way of new melodies, except for those overtop. Am I being too hard on myself?
    Yes, you're being way too hard on yourself! I love your song Porchlight, it's probably my favorite song out of all of yours. The melody flows almost perfectly, with great and focused precision, which keeps it interesting and fun.

    I added some humming to Breach, tell me what you guys think.
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  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Thaard's Avatar
    August 2008
    5,083 Posts
    nvm didn't read
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  8. Post #8
    I once watched a girl get eaten by a horse and it was bad
    Dead Madman's Avatar
    December 2008
    5,708 Posts
    What a genius idea, hopefully people will actually fucking critique each other now
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Bytecry's Avatar
    February 2010
    5,459 Posts
    Yes, you're being way too hard on yourself! I love your song Porchlight, it's probably my favorite song out of all of yours. The melody flows almost perfectly, with great and focused precision, which keeps it interesting and fun.

    I added some humming to Breach, tell me what you guys think.
    Listen to Soundcloud recording



    http://soundcloud.com/eyefunk/breach-w-vocals

    I like it but personally, if I made it, I would slow it down and make it more...ambient(not sure if that's the right word for it), either that or change up the drum pattern, I don't really think it suits. The humming add's a nice feel to the song as well.
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  10. Post #10
    cheeseballxm's Avatar
    December 2010
    154 Posts
    This is really coming together nicely. I'd definitely mix up the beats tho, especially in the middle when it's the only thing changing. Also, play around with some high pass filters, they could sound great on some of the hums, synths, or even the whole thing, maybe fading it in and out. I really like when the bass is playing along with the hums.
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  11. Post #11
    Not actually a glitch
    Glitchman's Avatar
    May 2005
    4,611 Posts
    Yes, you're being way too hard on yourself! I love your song Porchlight, it's probably my favorite song out of all of yours. The melody flows almost perfectly, with great and focused precision, which keeps it interesting and fun.

    I added some humming to Breach, tell me what you guys think.
    This song is great, I've probably listened to it about 10 times now while doing work. It's extremely relaxing, and the vocals you added give it such an amazing vibe. The song moves a bit, but is also slow and ambient. I would suggest maybe expanding on it, add some parts with more variety.

    Recently I have fallen in love with one of my more recent songs. I've been making music for about a year now, and I've already made hundreds, if not over a thousand dollars selling licenses to game devs. So as you listen, take it in to consideration what kind of music I'm trying to make. I love retro games and I try to create songs that can induce a little bit of nostalgia. A lot of it is fun loving, simple, beepy, and catchy.

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  12. Post #12
    Resident Beat Eater.
    wauterboi's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,973 Posts

    ^ Soundcloud is blocked at my school but I'm just fixing this for you. When you go to stick your link between the media tags, ensure that you remove the "s" in "https" to make it appear.
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  13. Post #13
    Kobi~'s Avatar
    December 2012
    147 Posts
    OMGZ
    ill trade you kick samples. those'd be very useful for me.

    Edited:


    I added some humming to Breach, tell me what you guys think.
    now realizing how retarded it was to have posted the same thing twice ._.
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  14. Post #14
    Gold Member
    Schmoe222's Avatar
    June 2005
    875 Posts
    This song is great, I've probably listened to it about 10 times now while doing work. It's extremely relaxing, and the vocals you added give it such an amazing vibe. The song moves a bit, but is also slow and ambient. I would suggest maybe expanding on it, add some parts with more variety.

    Recently I have fallen in love with one of my more recent songs. I've been making music for about a year now, and I've already made hundreds, if not over a thousand dollars selling licenses to game devs. So as you listen, take it in to consideration what kind of music I'm trying to make. I love retro games and I try to create songs that can induce a little bit of nostalgia. A lot of it is fun loving, simple, beepy, and catchy.

    First off, the percussion is really interesting - love it. I'm not the best person to advise you on sounds (plus I'm not sure if this is what you want), but I think a more realistic piano would've been more satisfying.

    Also, I felt like it was a little directionless. 1:03, 1:44, and 2:34 are all slightly different from each other, but not enough to where it felt like any one was the high point. For me, this was because the melody stays at a constant volume. You could try making your music more dynamic or changing up the instrumentation a bit.

    I know this is a different genre, but good music is good music, so take a listen to a theme and variations. Pay attention to how the composer changes it up each time. Probably the most famous (and for good reason) is the fourth movement of Beethoven's Ninth.


    In line with what wauterboi said about repetition, I can recommend a few things for you to play around with. As I mentioned, changing the actual sounds you use can make a big difference, but that'll only do so much. If you listen to the recording above, you'll hear Beethoven's melody by itself, then with counterpoint, then with a different rhythm, and so on. In this case, the melody changes just as much as the orchestration. You can change the way your music is harmonized, too. Find different chord progression that surprise the listener. It'll make returning to the final bit of your piece all the more satisfying.
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  15. Post #15
    Resident Beat Eater.
    wauterboi's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,973 Posts
    If I had to say one thing, it would be those percussive sounds are extremely bright - almost piercing. Tone it down a notch by possibly bring down the highs or turning it down.

    Also, generally (and this is out of preference), I try to move hi-hats as far into the background as I can if I'm not chopping up breaks, so there's my bias.

    Again with this track, it's very repetitive. As I stated in my last critique that I removed, there's no real twists or turns to the track. Schmoe is correct.

    The actual beat is pretty cool and reminds me of Kraftwerk (plus reverb).

    Starting with track two of my next EP. Anything I should change before I release it?

  16. Post #16
    Not actually a glitch
    Glitchman's Avatar
    May 2005
    4,611 Posts
    Thanks guys, pretty useful advice!
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  17. Post #17
    I Got That Swollen Hand Blues
    Eyefunk's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,525 Posts
    If I had to say one thing, it would be those percussive sounds are extremely bright - almost piercing. Tone it down a notch by possibly bring down the highs or turning it down.

    Also, generally (and this is out of preference), I try to move hi-hats as far into the background as I can if I'm not chopping up breaks, so there's my bias.

    Again with this track, it's very repetitive. As I stated in my last critique that I removed, there's no real twists or turns to the track. Schmoe is correct.

    The actual beat is pretty cool and reminds me of Kraftwerk (plus reverb).

    Starting with track two of my next EP. Anything I should change before I release it?
    Wow I'm not going to lie, but I usually dislike dubstep-esque songs, but the ambiance and flow of the song really made it a much more fun song to listen to. The synths are perfect, and fit incredibly well with the talking in the background, and the strong "wubs" support that later on. Very exciting song, great listen as well!
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  18. Post #18
    Resident Beat Eater.
    wauterboi's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,973 Posts
    Wow I'm not going to lie, but I usually dislike dubstep-esque songs, but the ambiance and flow of the song really made it a much more fun song to listen to. The synths are perfect, and fit incredibly well with the talking in the background, and the strong "wubs" support that later on. Very exciting song, great listen as well!
    I really don't want to sound pompous but a lot of my friends who explicitly hate dubstep say things like that. It's an awesome feeling. :D

    I'm honestly worried about the mixing of the first portion of the song when the buzzy bass kicks in.
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  19. Post #19
    kraed's Avatar
    April 2010
    130 Posts
    This song is great, I've probably listened to it about 10 times now while doing work. It's extremely relaxing, and the vocals you added give it such an amazing vibe. The song moves a bit, but is also slow and ambient. I would suggest maybe expanding on it, add some parts with more variety.

    Recently I have fallen in love with one of my more recent songs. I've been making music for about a year now, and I've already made hundreds, if not over a thousand dollars selling licenses to game devs. So as you listen, take it in to consideration what kind of music I'm trying to make. I love retro games and I try to create songs that can induce a little bit of nostalgia. A lot of it is fun loving, simple, beepy, and catchy.

    I'm liking this a lot! The highs on the perc is a lil high, like already mentioned. But the structure is top knotch, a good video game music track for sure (i've done a few myself). 8bit/chiptune is so fun to work with. Would love to see in what sort of game that track ends up in.

    Starting with track two of my next EP. Anything I should change before I release it?
    Phat! Progresses very well. I would add up different types of wub or sounds the second time around. The vocal sample is tight, "This is it" could be a tad louder leading to a stronger drop. The outro seemed a bit too thick for my taste. A good master and this will be sicker than it is, good job, man!!!!

    ---------------
    Sharing this with you, guys! First 4 tracks of Chillback Resistance's second EP, different house flavours in this one: a bit of uplifting, deep house, and electro house.
    http://soundcloud.com/chillback-resi...ep-sounds-ep-1
    Would love to hear opinions and critiques.

    Cheers, guys! Let's keep those tracks coming.
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  20. Post #20
    I Got That Swollen Hand Blues
    Eyefunk's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,525 Posts
    First off I want to say sorry for the bump, but I really liked this thread's layout and strict format. Hopefully we can keep this going.

    Sharing this with you, guys! First 4 tracks of Chillback Resistance's second EP, different house flavours in this one: a bit of uplifting, deep house, and electro house.
    http://soundcloud.com/chillback-resi...ep-sounds-ep-1
    Would love to hear opinions and critiques.

    Cheers, guys! Let's keep those tracks coming.
    I've gotten about halfway through your EP and I have to say, it's quite great. Consciousness has a nice flow to it, as well as a cool chord progression supporting it. I love the part around 2:30 where the snare comes in, it fills in a ton of emptiness in the song.

    The first song, Resistance, had a really cool intro to it which I really enjoyed. The snare later on in the song is a little bit weak and boring, and a couple of the synths feel a little bit drowned out and dull. Still, I can tell you put a lot of time into this EP, the quality definitely shows.

    I'm looking forward to seeing more of your stuff, Kraed!


    Now, I'm trying something a little bit new here. I took a ton of samples I recorded around my house and messed with them using effects, then made a song out of them. What's interesting is that the only synths in the whole song is the flute sounding pad and the panning synth near the beginning.


    Suggestions would be great. I know there are some mixing issues throughout the song, and the ending is a little bit boring. The song is still very much a WIP.

    Thanks, and let's keep this thread moving!

  21. Post #21
    Hullu V3's Avatar
    October 2009
    6,412 Posts
    Now, I'm trying something a little bit new here. I took a ton of samples I recorded around my house and messed with them using effects, then made a song out of them. What's interesting is that the only synths in the whole song is the flute sounding pad and the panning synth near the beginning.

    Really digging that song, because it has the same kinda vibe to it that one of my favourite bands has on some of their songs. Can't say much about electronic music, because I don't listen to it that often, but that was really nice so listen to!

    ----------------

    Now, I'd like to get some critcism about my latest piece, which I also made a thread for in this same section, but no fucks were given.

    So here's my new song I finished earlier this week.

    I'm always looking to improve, so go ahead and shoot!
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  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    Hakita's Avatar
    June 2007
    21,443 Posts

    I'm always looking to improve, so go ahead and shoot!
    I'm no good with serious criticism, but here goes:
    Mixing is damn fine, as I expected after your previous music.
    The intro section was pretty boring though, honestly. It's just 2 chords repeatedly with small variation for almost a minute.
    Other than that, it doesn't exactly stand out from other djenty metal, but its still great and very enjoyable.
    I really liked all the dual-guitar melodies, but I'm always a sucker for that kind of stuff.

    Only other complaint I have is that the bass sounds really weird. It just feels like its put in there because most songs have bass.
    Most of the time its barely audible and sometimes it's got this odd 'glerb' sound to it.
    I think you should work on making your bass guitar more audible while still keeping it as a supporting instrument.

    --------

    And now, it's time to post some of my own music:
    I've been working on a long track for a month now, it's called "Third Impact" and has 3 movements so far (clocking in at around 15 minutes)
    I'm going for at least 5 movements, more if I feel like the song isn't complete enough.
    As usual, it's MIDI metal.

    Here are the first 3 movements:

    Note: 2nd movement doesn't really blend into the 3rd movement because the 2nd movement that I uploaded on Soundcloud has an outdated outro.
    I didn't want to reupload the whole song just to fix the outro, so stick with it for now!

  23. Post #23
    kraed's Avatar
    April 2010
    130 Posts
    Now, I'm trying something a little bit new here. I took a ton of samples I recorded around my house and messed with them using effects, then made a song out of them. What's interesting is that the only synths in the whole song is the flute sounding pad and the panning synth near the beginning.


    Suggestions would be great. I know there are some mixing issues throughout the song, and the ending is a little bit boring. The song is still very much a WIP.

    Thanks, and let's keep this thread moving!
    Interesting! I like the concept much, feels videogame like. The 2:28-2:56 is a very nice contrast, it gives time to mellow the bussier parts. Another synth would be a nice touch. And the structure works well in my opinion.


    Now, I'd like to get some critcism about my latest piece, which I also made a thread for in this same section, but no fucks were given.

    So here's my new song I finished earlier this week.

    I'm always looking to improve, so go ahead and shoot!
    Nice playing, man. The skill is good, the sound is good. The intro is indeed a tad simple but works well with the piece. It is a very good direction where you are headed, this will rock live.

    Here are the first 3 movements:

    Note: 2nd movement doesn't really blend into the 3rd movement because the 2nd movement that I uploaded on Soundcloud has an outdated outro.
    I didn't want to reupload the whole song just to fix the outro, so stick with it for now!
    Now, i'm not that used to this type of genre and haven't spent much time listening to similar tracks, so bear with me xD
    i am liking the strucutres. They feel very full and balanced. The pieces brought memories, so they did managed an emotional responce :)
    I'll be listening to more of this, want to give a better opinion.
    -------


    Had this laying around for a long while, gave it a nice polish and uploaded it. Has some nice lounge vibe. Would like to hear thoughts on mixing, structure and the sax.

    Cheers, guys!
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  24. Post #24
    Gold Member
    Blackwheel's Avatar
    April 2005
    682 Posts
    ^^cool, love the sax towards the end, possibly could benefit from some more swing in the cymbals to make it less sterile(word choice?)?
    the treble sounded a little harsh to me, but maybe it's my setup?


  25. Post #25
    Jazer's Avatar
    January 2011
    297 Posts
    Working on my mixing, here is a taste. And yes, criticize the hell out of me.



    Rate me dumb all you want, but I'm wanting mixing crit.
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  26. Post #26
    SynisterSilen's Avatar
    January 2012
    389 Posts
    Working on my mixing, here is a taste. And yes, criticize the hell out of me.



    Rate me dumb all you want, but I'm wanting mixing crit.
    Not going to rate you dumb... I hate that shit.

    The guitar just doesn't sound good, man. Sorry. Everything else is fine... just change that guitar or something.

    ---

    I know I need better recording equipment, but does this little guitar riff sound okay?

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  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Blackwheel's Avatar
    April 2005
    682 Posts
    would love some feedback on mine

  28. Post #28
    SynisterSilen's Avatar
    January 2012
    389 Posts
    would love some feedback on mine
    Yours is very much not what I'd normally listen to... so I can't critique it. I'm guessing it's going to be like this for a lot more people.

    It's a song that just flows. Would make for a good background song...
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  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    Blackwheel's Avatar
    April 2005
    682 Posts
    Yours is very much not what I'd normally listen to... so I can't critique it. I'm guessing it's going to be like this for a lot more people.

    It's a song that just flows. Would make for a good background song...
    k thanks for being honest.

  30. Post #30
    I Got That Swollen Hand Blues
    Eyefunk's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,525 Posts
    Uh dude, the reason we're rating you dumb is not because your music is bad, but because you did not follow the rules. You didn't post any criticism for anyone and all you did was slap down your music and tell others to listen to it.

    ^^cool, love the sax towards the end, possibly could benefit from some more swing in the cymbals to make it less sterile(word choice?)?
    the treble sounded a little harsh to me, but maybe it's my setup?

    I absolutely love this! The ambiance floating around in the song keeps it feeling organic and dynamic, and the guitar part is creepy. Well, not creepy, it's just really cool that it sounds like elevator music but with a twist. It could have more going on with it, it feels a little bit empty at times. Try to add some more ambient parts, as well as breaks from the main progression.

    Anyways, I'm trying something new again, tell me what you think.
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  31. Post #31

    December 2011
    784 Posts
    I don't know man, a lot of the critique so far in this thread is just "dude I like this" or "dude I don't like this" vOv
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  32. Post #32
    pi0x's Avatar
    May 2012
    21 Posts
    Well, I'm so happy to see a thread like this! lol

    Here is a little something I've been working on for the past week or so. Really would like to hear it from y'all if I'm improving! :)

    http://soundcloud.com/tutter-1/the-day-after
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  33. Post #33
    Gold Member
    Hakita's Avatar
    June 2007
    21,443 Posts
    Sheesh guys, if you're going to post your music at least try to give some criticism.

  34. Post #34
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,350 Posts

    Had this laying around for a long while, gave it a nice polish and uploaded it. Has some nice lounge vibe. Would like to hear thoughts on mixing, structure and the sax.

    Cheers, guys!
    the composition is pretty charming with the wacky sax but the mixing itself is all high formant and upper-highs with like zero harmonic content under it which makes it sound like its being played through tiny speakers

    part of what makes lounge sound good is the incredibly amount of depth in the lows:

    not lounge but note the complexity and clarity in the lower range, sounds really warm and loving in the headphones

    ^^cool, love the sax towards the end, possibly could benefit from some more swing in the cymbals to make it less sterile(word choice?)?
    the treble sounded a little harsh to me, but maybe it's my setup?

    this is really interesting and i like the chording but tbh it sounds like two different pieces squashed into each other, try to mold your instruments around each other instead of on top of each other if that makes sense

    Anyways, I'm trying something new again, tell me what you think.
    sounds like Synclavier era Zappa to me for some reason haha, really cool approach, id say try to use more interesting timbres and harmonies to give it a really unique vibe, its almost orchestral lmao

    Well, I'm so happy to see a thread like this! lol

    Here is a little something I've been working on for the past week or so. Really would like to hear it from y'all if I'm improving! :)

    http://soundcloud.com/tutter-1/the-day-after
    id say take those synths on top of it out and instead try to add to the rhythms of the track, you're just taking the easy way out by doing that repetitive arping, even Kraftwerk usually avoided doing that





    ok so i recorded something while intoxicated and i think its good enough to share and get input on:


    sounds pretty good for cassette imo
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  35. Post #35
    Gold Member
    Blackwheel's Avatar
    April 2005
    682 Posts
    this is really interesting and i like the chording but tbh it sounds like two different pieces squashed into each other, try to mold your instruments around each other instead of on top of each other if that makes sense
    Makes a lot of sense. I had recorded the song a while back and this is a version I changed up, so perhaps it was transforming into another song, hence the clashing. Helpful critique, thanks again.

  36. Post #36
    pi0x's Avatar
    May 2012
    21 Posts


    ok so i recorded something while intoxicated and i think its good enough to share and get input on:


    sounds pretty good for cassette imo
    Ooh, I like this. Sounds pretty neat, but the percussion in the song sounds like it gets a little off the beat or something in the middle. Also, it does tend to get slightly repetitive, but not bad at all. Love it.


    Made this earlier. The groove sounds kind of neat. lol