1. Post #1
    HQRSE FUCKER
    ief014's Avatar
    September 2009
    3,047 Posts
    Source here: http://kotaku.com/5952785/long-dista...n-app-for-that

    Next January, Taiwan's LovePalz will be launching its long distance lovin' pleasuring gadgets. The devices, which seem to be designed for straight couples, have gotten Western news coverage—and more recently, Japanese.

    The devices support iPhone, Android, and more, and the two set LovePalz has units for both males and females, with each being dubbed "Zeus" and "Hera". The male aid is lined with textured silicone, and the female one sports a phallus.

    According to Japan's Shukan Post (via The Tokyo Reporter), using the app and the devices during masturbation sends data to the cloud via Bluetooth that's based on the velocity of the male's strokes. This is transferred to a piston in the phallus in the Hera unit, which matches the speed in real time. Data based on the female's sends that to the male's Zeus unit, causing the pump to "tighten", if necessary. In short, it's virtual screwing.

    And what inspired this device and its app? "I was lonely during my studies as I couldn't see my girlfriend back in Taiwan," says the developer of the device, who was studying in the U.K. when he came up with LovePalz. "That was my inspiration. I want couples engaged in long-distance relationships to enjoy this product's benefits."

    To do so, they'll need to shell out US$94.50 for a pair (there are also limited 24-carat ones for $10,000). They are packaged with male and female units, and it's not clear if LovePalz will work with two Hera units or two Zeus units. (Not everyone has the same kind of sex, you know!)

    LovePalz was originally launched via Kickstarter, but that campaign didn't work out. The company says over 3,900 pre-orders have been made—and customers pay only once the product ships. One thousand of those pre-orders, it seems, are from Japan.

    This puts a whole new meaning on reach out and touch someone.
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  2. Post #2
    Recco's Avatar
    September 2011
    559 Posts
    Misleading title. I want my cock to be 3000 miles.
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  3. Post #3
    Saged, Hidden, Reported, Filtered & Called the cops
    Furnost's Avatar
    June 2008
    4,107 Posts
    What if one wants to use it on themself?
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  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    Murkrow's Avatar
    April 2005
    4,836 Posts
    This is hardly a new concept





    http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/


    Nineteen ninety nine.
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  5. Post #5
    Deviantart Appreciation Station's Finest
    Pvt. Martin's Avatar
    April 2009
    18,801 Posts
    "I'm sickened, but curious."
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  6. Post #6
    Gold Member
    Paramud's Avatar
    November 2008
    8,837 Posts
    What if one wants to use it on themself?
    Then you've essentially turned a Portal fanfic into a real thing.
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  7. Post #7
    HQRSE FUCKER
    ief014's Avatar
    September 2009
    3,047 Posts
    This is hardly a new concept









    http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/




    Nineteen ninety nine.



    That's got to be real fuckin' uncomfortable

    plus I don't want to fuck a machine
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  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    bull04's Avatar
    July 2008
    3,300 Posts
    What if one wants to use it on themself?
    "Gee, I can't wait to get home tonight and fuck myself in the ass using my own 2 cell phones!"
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    kebab52's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,349 Posts
    Already is mate.
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  10. Post #10
    Theater's Avatar
    October 2009
    1,099 Posts
    This is hardly a new concept





    http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/


    Nineteen ninety nine.
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  11. Post #11
    Obnobs's Avatar
    December 2011
    527 Posts
    Something about that terrifies me.
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  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    Da Big Man's Avatar
    December 2005
    1,758 Posts
    Lot of sex in the news as of late

    Edited:

    Not that I'm complaining
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  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    Van-man's Avatar
    August 2009
    15,159 Posts
    This is hardly a new concept





    http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/


    Nineteen ninety nine.
    hurr floppy dick drive
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  14. Post #14
    What's brevity?
    ironman17's Avatar
    June 2006
    18,632 Posts
    This'll be handy for lonely husbands (and wives) stuck fighting in the East. Also, if it were made so that it could connect to different units across the globe, it'd add a whole other dimension to cybering. However, there could be issues with latency; things could get a bit out of sync if you catch my drift.

    Also I think I talked about the subject a long while back, in a thread that concerned long-distance marital aids of a different kind.
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  15. Post #15
    Cheesy and delicious.
    Snickerdoodle's Avatar
    August 2010
    5,954 Posts
    hurr floppy dick drive
    Reminds me of how easy it is for me to misspell "floppy disk" as "floppy diks".
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  16. Post #16
    The King Of Zing
    minilandstan's Avatar
    September 2009
    14,817 Posts
    Hell yeah.
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  17. Post #17
    Gold Member
    EpikEnvy2.0's Avatar
    April 2009
    5,184 Posts
    I'll take 5.
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  18. Post #18
    NeonpieDFTBA's Avatar
    January 2012
    819 Posts
    This is hardly a new concept





    http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/


    Nineteen ninety nine.
    'Click to enlarge'
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  19. Post #19
    Resident News Bot
    wickedplayer494's Avatar
    April 2011
    10,962 Posts
    ...but how would it simulate jizz?
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  20. Post #20
    Archimedes's Avatar
    April 2012
    5,254 Posts
    I'm extremely distracted by the fact that the male on the phone looks like a strange Jim Carry/Justin Bieber hybrid.

    Extremely so.
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  21. Post #21
    Dildo Queen 2013
    TaniaTiger's Avatar
    September 2010
    6,987 Posts
    I've been waiting all year for this. My boyfriend lives up North whereas I live in the South, funnily enough I met him through facepunch.

    That's my valentines present sorted
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  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    Van-man's Avatar
    August 2009
    15,159 Posts
    I've been waiting all year for this. My boyfriend lives up North whereas I live in the South, funnily enough I met him through facepunch.

    That's my valentines present sorted
    Uhh, 'kay?
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  23. Post #23
    DuCT's Avatar
    September 2010
    834 Posts
    Sweet, telodildonics. An absolutly hilarious idea. Facerocker (freddiew and the crew) had a podcast segment dedicated to this.
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  24. Post #24
    macotaco's Avatar
    May 2011
    1,732 Posts
    The fact that i thought of this idea ages ago is terrifying.

  25. Post #25
    Hello, my name is Penis. Please refer to me as such. I'm totally cool with it.
    SPESSMEHREN's Avatar
    November 2009
    4,613 Posts
    ...but how would it simulate jizz?
    Maybe the guy has to fill it up before he goes away on his business trip.
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  26. Post #26
    beep
    codemaster85's Avatar
    January 2006
    7,341 Posts
    ...but how would it simulate jizz?
    Have you seen a bad dragon dildo with cum tube?
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  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Van-man's Avatar
    August 2009
    15,159 Posts
    Have you seen a bad dragon dildo with cum tube?
    Welp, I know what my nightmares will consist of now.
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  28. Post #28
    cam64DD's Avatar
    November 2008
    783 Posts
    what. the. christ.

  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    Xenomoose's Avatar
    September 2006
    5,602 Posts
    Ronery Levels reaching 500%, captain!
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  30. Post #30
    Gold Member
    Vodkavia's Avatar
    January 2012
    3,510 Posts
    Give the Hera model some of its own AI and you've got the world's first thinking fleshlite.
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  31. Post #31
    Glod Menber
    TurbisV2's Avatar
    May 2008
    24,528 Posts
    Omegle suddenly becomes a pimp.
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  32. Post #32
    Gold Member
    Mechwarrior's Avatar
    January 2006
    806 Posts
    Ahaha I thought this was already made.

  33. Post #33
    Gold Member
    Kartoffel's Avatar
    April 2010
    4,265 Posts
    [computer sex]
    "Time to download my upgrade..."

  34. Post #34
    Gold Member
    viperfan7's Avatar
    November 2007
    3,613 Posts
    Give the Hera model some of its own AI and you've got the world's first thinking fleshlite.
    oh god it'll probably happen to

  35. Post #35
    Deviantart Appreciation Station's Finest
    Pvt. Martin's Avatar
    April 2009
    18,801 Posts
    "Time to download my upgrade..."
    Old People: "Let me insert my floppy into your disk drive"
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  36. Post #36
    Gold Member
    Zleesh's Avatar
    July 2005
    236 Posts
    This + Chatroulette.

    "Fuck 100 bitches a day - ONLINE!"

  37. Post #37
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    January 2005
    4,680 Posts
    this is the age in which we live

    teledildonics
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  38. Post #38
    Gold Member
    Foxtrot200's Avatar
    August 2009
    1,394 Posts
    Would it be cheating or just plain masturbating if you used this with someone other than your partner?
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  39. Post #39
    BFG9000's Avatar
    April 2011
    4,606 Posts
    Oh God
    Imagine. As this becomes more widely used, people might sell used ones on the internet after they get old or something

    Brace Yourselves
    the STDs are cumming
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  40. Post #40
    churboi austin
    Trogdon's Avatar
    October 2007
    12,788 Posts
    If the signals get mixed up and you get in someone else's stream is that cheating
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