1. Post #81
    I do it all
    fruxodaily's Avatar
    November 2010
    12,266 Posts
    Some of the best 3D animations I've seen in a long time.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows 8 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 2 (list)

  2. Post #82
    [EG] Pepper's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,086 Posts
    Irresponsible Dad and his son want to go to the store to buy a pack of Pop Tarts but on the way they run over 20184 pedestrians, including Irresponsible Dad's son. But only 2158 were dismembered. If there were 16.41 litres of blood in each dead person, how much blood total would you have in each dismembered and non-dismembered person?
    I just lost it at this.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 5Friendly Friendly x 1 (list)

  3. Post #83
    Chukaba's Avatar
    May 2011
    34 Posts
    The kind of math problems the joker would've made, if he were a teacher.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows 7 Switzerland Show Events Agree Agree x 4 (list)

  4. Post #84
    supertribute's Avatar
    March 2012
    1,701 Posts
    It almost seems real, at the end of the class you get shot in the head.

  5. Post #85
    Gold Member
    Raptortheawesome's Avatar
    May 2009
    4,867 Posts
    A troop of baboons invaded Botham city. Amazing Orange Man came to the rescue by killing a total of 2115 baboons. He killed 1131 more baboons by shooting them with his laser gun than by strangling them to death. How many baboons did he kill with his laser gun?

    Amazing Orange Man? Really?

  6. Post #86
    Gold Member
    Cone's Avatar
    August 2011
    17,913 Posts
    A troop of baboons invaded Botham city. Amazing Orange Man came to the rescue by killing a total of 2115 baboons. He killed 1131 more baboons by shooting them with his laser gun than by strangling them to death. How many baboons did he kill with his laser gun?

    Amazing Orange Man? Really?
    So you can accept that Botham City is being invaded by elite organized baboons and that someone is fighting them off with a laser gun, but the fact that he's particularly sarcastic throws you off?

  7. Post #87
    Motherfuckers's Avatar
    January 2012
    739 Posts
    ...This is exactly the sort of shit I would have found hilarious back in third grade.

  8. Post #88
    Gold Member
    DwarfOverlord's Avatar
    December 2010
    885 Posts
    NO. Diabeetus.
    If John had 30 chocolate bars, and ate 2 thirds of them, what would he have?
       Diabetes   
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows 7 Australia Show Events Dumb Dumb x 4 (list)

  9. Post #89
    We need facepunch math worksheets
    If doug makes 8 accounts, and 4 of those accounts are banned, how many of those accounts are left

  10. Post #90
    Gold Member
    KingKombat's Avatar
    April 2009
    11,101 Posts
    what the actual fuck?

    i mean yeah these are pretty fuckin cool but

    why
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 2 (list)

  11. Post #91
    Dr. Evilcop's Avatar
    May 2011
    2,793 Posts
    If doug makes 8 accounts, and 4 of those accounts are banned, how many of those accounts are left
    If Garry bans the good mods, how many bad posts will appear?

  12. Post #92
    Gold Member
    agentgamma's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,992 Posts
    Most violent maths problem I've ever had was the time that our maths teacher was teaching us stuff about trigonometry a few years ago, and used a sniper as an example.

  13. Post #93
    Gold Member
    katbug's Avatar
    January 2010
    6,227 Posts
    this reminds me of my rocket-sled and zombie apocalypse themed test we had for phys last week.

    "if a zombie is ontop of a car and has a mass of 100kg, and the car is accelerating at -2 m/s, how much force will the zombie need to exert on the car to make it not fall off?

    follow up question:
    If a zombie fails to meet enough force to hold on the the slowing down car, how hard will the car have to hit the zombie to kill it if it's skull has a radius of 3m and is 2 inches thick? (assume that the skull is a perfect sphere and is made from granite)

  14. Post #94
    THE TRUE SAN DIEGAN WARLORD
    Dennab
    June 2008
    2,932 Posts
    Homeschool Fun: Printable Math Worksheets
    Third Grade Math Problem 4


    John's father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John's friends came for his funeral the next day. John's grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John's friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?
    585 marbles?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 3 (list)

  15. Post #95
    [EG] Pepper's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,086 Posts
    585 marbles?
    Shortly after, they all died.

  16. Post #96
    Gold Member
    joshdasmif's Avatar
    July 2009
    1,415 Posts
    John swallowed 585 marbles and died.

    Dammit John!

  17. Post #97
    Gold Member
    abcpea2's Avatar
    April 2007
    5,665 Posts
    This is for 9-10 year olds?
    fyi i was 8 in third grade

  18. Post #98
    Just a Homestuck OC with a massive dick
    Irockz's Avatar
    April 2011
    2,338 Posts
    A UFO landed in my backyard yesterday. I had 34 pieces of $20 notes in my pocket. I bought 8 laser guns at $43 each and 25 cute long-haired zulags at $5 each from a purple-eyed alien. How much money did I have after that?

    "25 cute long-haired zulags at $5 each"
    asdfgh;

  19. Post #99
    Naaz's Avatar
    January 2012
    1,692 Posts

    I dunno what you're talking about, that's not distur...

    Oh god. Oh god, oh god OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

    OOOOOOOOOOOOH

    That's awful!
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows XP United States Show Events Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  20. Post #100
    Fuck Arnold Palmer
    TomZa's Avatar
    April 2011
    8,487 Posts
    John has balls of steel if he can swallow over 500 marbles.

  21. Post #101
    [EG] Pepper's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,086 Posts
    wouldn't he have balls of glass?

  22. Post #102
    Gold Member
    AK'z's Avatar
    January 2011
    28,832 Posts
    in the feedback section:
    The Bad

    Edward Byrne from Minnesota
    The content in your word problems are very inappropriate for children. I am recommending our school to not use your site for any worksheet printing at all. If you want to cater to families and schools you need to change the content. You will not be getting too many return customers.

    Hi Edward. Children are bored to death doing sterile and sanitized math problems like "Mark has 5 pencils. If he gives 3 of his pencils to Sally, how may pencils does he have left?"

    I wanted to make children love math. We all lament over the fact that the worst subject for most kids is math, and most kids would rather eat sauteed centipede or grapple with a gorilla than spend an hour exercising their mental muscles on math.

    So what did I do? I made my math problems fun and funny by putting in what kids absolutely adore - ogres, fairies, bashing, sword-fighting ... and yes, nose-picking and belching too - I am sure you have heard kids laugh uproariously when a gross joke was told. Children love superhero cartoons like Ben 10 and comics like Batman. The most popular books are about fighting and fantasy too, such as the 'Chronicles of Narnia' and 'Harry Potter' series.

    I am just changing with the times.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Winner Winner x 6 (list)

  23. Post #103
    Hans-Gunther 3.'s Avatar
    May 2011
    2,689 Posts
    wouldn't he have balls of glass?
    Yeah, and heavy ones at that! I'd be surprised if his ballsack didn't rip off from the weight.

  24. Post #104
    [EG] Pepper's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,086 Posts
    Yeah, and heavy ones at that! I'd be surprised if his ballsack didn't rip off from the weight.
    Maybe his ballsack is also made of glass.

  25. Post #105
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    500 facepunchers got banned by postal postal postal because of warez. 250 facepunchers created alternate accounts. half of the 250 got raped by Garry. how many facepunchers were left to start a rebellion on facepunch - using the removed group system?
    125
    do I get a cookie now, teacher
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows XP United States Show Events Winner Winner x 1 (list)

  26. Post #106
    retroboy4's Avatar
    April 2007
    244 Posts
    Muthu wanted to summon a demon from hell to help him with his hellish math homework. So Muthu went to Magician Mordo's Magic Shop to buy an Australian elephant, a Japanese jackal and a Hawaiian hyena - all very rare animals indeed. The demon would come if he sacrificed those animals on a full moon. The average cost of the 3 animals was $1365. The average cost of the elephant and the jackal was $1745. How much did the hyena cost?
    wtf?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows XP United States Show Events Funny Funny x 4 (list)

  27. Post #107
    [EG] Pepper's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,086 Posts
    125
    do I get a cookie now, teacher
    No, everyone gets banned

    including you, and me
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  28. Post #108
    RPG
    RPG's Avatar
    January 2010
    780 Posts
    Reminds me of my old Physics teacher, who swore at us every time we messed up either in class or exam, arriving late or even getting the problem done, and go on how he had to deal with an armed classmate in the other school he worked.

    Best teacher in the world, next to this one.

  29. Post #109
    Gold Member
    Ericson666's Avatar
    May 2011
    3,224 Posts
    Irresponsible Dad and his son want to go to the store to buy a pack of Pop Tarts but on the way they run over 20184 pedestrians, including Irresponsible Dad's son. But only 2158 were dismembered. If there were 16.41 litres of blood in each dead person, how much blood total would you have in each dismembered and non-dismembered person?
    Holy shit, they ran over a small town.

    Like seriously, no one is paying attention to the numbers?

    Also, how did he run over his son if he was in the car?

  30. Post #110
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts

    I'm pretty sure there aren't even hyenas in Hawaii. Or Jackals in Japan for that matter.

  31. Post #111
    Gold Member
    cheesedelux's Avatar
    February 2007
    7,656 Posts
    Holy shit, they ran over a small town.

    Like seriously, no one is paying attention to the numbers?

    Also, how did he run over his son if he was in the car?
    Is this actually from the site?
    Sounds like the teacher had been playing Happy Wheels

  32. Post #112
    Hans-Gunther 3.'s Avatar
    May 2011
    2,689 Posts
    Holy shit, they ran over a small town.

    Like seriously, no one is paying attention to the numbers?

    Also, how did he run over his son if he was in the car?
    Irresponsible Dad's riding on a bike with his son on a back seat. If you hit people hard enough with the bike they lose a limb (actually several)

    Is this actually from the site?
    Sounds like the teacher had been playing Happy Wheels
    No it isn't, I jimmied that up because ironman17 said it's like the mathematical equivalent of Happy Wheels.